listen to my silences
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2004-03-26 03:55:02 (UTC)

breaking the lease

tiff can't afford rent so we have to break our lease. at
least this was the conclusion we had reached until i got
home after work today and she said she wasn't sure
anymore. if nick's dad had said that she could move in
then we'd definitely be breaking it. but he said no. and
she doesn't want to move back home. her main problem: she
doesn't want to give up her cats. so...i don't know where
we are right now. i don't want to move back home either
but if she can't make payments then there's nothing i can
do about it. i was thinking maybe after a few months i'd
move up to madison. i love it up there. probably mostly
because it's not here. but i like living in this
apartment. for the first time in my life i have my own
room. yeah sure i lived in the basement by myself at mom
and dad's, but it wasn't a room. this is the first room
i've ever had that's actually been mine. if we did break
the lease i'd move back into the basement at first for
sure. and i guess that'd be a way to save money. i don't
know what i'm feeling about this situation right now. i
just wish that she'd make a definite decision and stick
with it. this in between stuff sucks. it's stressful.

i got a raise today. very excited about that. and i'm
getting really good hours. i love my job. it's finally
working out.

rachel and i hung out the other day. i hadn't seen her in
forever. we really had a good time. i've missed her.

my bro spent the night monday night since susan's with ben
for spring break and he wanted to do something cool. so we
watched movies and ate popcorn and went to wal-mart dressed
up crazily late at night. he had some guy rap a happy
birthday song to him outside the wal-mart doors. it was
awesome. then tuesday we went down by the river and played
and explored on the rocks and around the railroad bridge.
i love my little bro. he's awesome. i worry about him a
lot though. i'm not living there anymore and he's starting
to follow in his other sister's footsteps...not a great
thing to be doing...but he and i talk and hang out and have
a good time together. and i know that he doesn't want my
disapproval so i think he'll be okay.

today at work we had a three year old ride his bike into
the store from his house. his parents had no idea. it was
nuts. so i babysat for about forty-five minutes. he was
so cute. i love little kids. his name was dylan. not
sure how to spell it. i couldn't believe he'd just ridden
right into k-mart like that. when i was three there was no
way i'd be outside by myself. i couldn't even play in the
front yard until first grade. and i couldn't ride in the
street until junior high. yeah i guess my parents are a
little strict. but then again at least they are sensible
when it comes to kids and didn't let me just create havoc
everywhere and do something crazy like ride my little bike
with training wheels into a store. it was nuts. i felt
sorry for him though...based on talking to him and just how
he reacted to different things around him makes me wonder
how he's treated at home. he didn't want to go back. it
was...difficult...letting him go back to that. we called
the police and they had to contact cps...second run in with
cps over a kid that i've had in my life. not fun.

okay well there's lots more to write about but i'm tired
and stressed.

and hurt.

this is ridiculous.

final thought: you follow the drama, it doesn't follow you

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