The Real Me
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2004-03-23 01:49:03 (UTC)


Back at school and the feeling of being overwhelmed has
hit me hard and fast. I can only blame myslef this time.
Hopefully anxiety attacks don't soon follow like the last
time i had this feeling back in November. Classes are ok,
only if i didn't have to do homework, decide to skip my
first day of accounting tomorrow, pretty good if i must
say so myself, ones that know me know that that's a record
for me. haha. I just don't get the homework, managerial
accounting is fucked up. Communications i have a big
project, not feeling motivated i guess. i just want the
semester to be over and on with new things.

Apartment and summer ideas r really starting to piss me
off, thinking about it does thats for sure. The number of
girls is getting smaller and smaller, i'm not mad at them
nesscarily...i duno..too much to think about right now.

Started training today which was cool, i hate working
period. Maybe in the summer i will enjoy it more, but i'm
the kind of person that likes to be around my peers and
having fun, i feel liek i'm missing out on something if
i'm gone doing something else. But it's money and i need

Kali's still sick, serenas sick and seems like matt is
sick. the 3 people i spend 99.9% of my time with and for
the ones that know me well i'm a semi germ freak, you must
be shocked i haven't moved outta my room yet haha. I know
i surpirse myself sometimes.

Roberta sent me a card for my bday with $5 in it...i was
appalled!! that lil brat sent me money, so in return (her
bday was yesterday) i'm sending her a card with the same
$5 bill in it hehe. hopefully she will come and visit
more..usually when i mail her something i tell her to come
by (since she takes general ed classes her at husson)and
she does for a few mins, kinda hard to talk to a friend u
hardly know anymore when u've changed soo much...specialy
as a christian.

Serena gave me a christian cd tonight, one she doesn't
listen to anymore, I'm kinda glad she gave it to me...i'm
gonna have to pop it into my car tomorrow on my way to
work. Might get me back in the swing of things. NO...i
won't turn religious on ur ass..even though i do have a
few friends that have kept trying to push me towrds
God...i think they reliezed i wasn't gonna go to chruch on
any given day. I have my own beleifs and listening to
someone else disagree and preach "his/her way" would be
unbearable. Youth Group for 4 years was awesome, i'm not
dissing that, but sometimes i wanted to cring at some of
the words that came outta there mouth. I do miss them all
though...Youth Groupers that is :/They were alot of fun
and an awesome group of people to be with.

i guess i'm out...alot of thoughts for one night

luv ya