I'm not dumb...

Mofo in the Wae
2004-03-22 03:35:16 (UTC)

My own life is murdering me

Meh. things are stiLL suckee and keep getting worse. Mer
told Ian I told her to teLL him he's a dick. I dont reaLLee
remember her teLLing her to teLL him that, but w/e. I'm not
mad at her. its just, meh. I miss mine and Ian's friendship
so much. I miss aLL those carzy phone conversations. I MISS
MY KOALA. :( thats what sucks about relationships. you're
putting the friendship on the line. i mean in some cases
people who dont have much of a friendship go out. but i
dont think i could do that. i need to know the person.
Jacob and I werent friends for as long as me and Ian were
before we went out... i guess thats why sometimes... losing
Ian hurts more than losing jacob, even though i love jacob.
meh, love sucks. me and jacob odviouslee are no longer
friends. and i think the same goes for ian and i. he said
we are, but i know we wont hang out. i doubt he'd waste his
time. i guess thats what pisses me off too. cuz he said
we'd stae friends... and he said that one dae we would try
to work things out... he was odviouslee lying. He fucked w/
my mind and heart, as did Jacob. and for some reason, i
forgave both of them in hopes of staeing friends. I guess I
was wasting my time. but sometimes putting the friendship
on the line is okae... b/c you dont know untiL you try...
and matbe it would be worth it. if you think the
relationship would last as long as the friendship or
longer... than its worth it. i was talking to lauren and
micheLLe about this kid yesterdae. and idk, i kinda wanna
go out with him, but i kinda dont... cuz i dont wanna lose
the friendship. i guess iLL see what happens. i think too
much. and it makes me feeL even more shittee than i
alreadee did. ::deep sogh:: and talking to ian and jacob
before didnt help. meh, im happee for jacob that he has a
GF... and im not jeLLious... im just mad and upset b/c of
everything he put me through. n now im left alone :'(. weLL
im gonna go try n get osme sleep. buybuy.

~KeLLee and QuaGGy

You took it back
You ripped my heart out of mine, then you put it back
I'm pulling my hair
I love you just a million times
I love you even though it isn't fair




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