zaraphel

To sleep perchance to dream
2004-03-21 02:03:20 (UTC)

you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed but can you ever just be whelmed?

Well if you can I am. I was slightly depressed today though
I have no real reason to be. I woke up on time, took my
shower and left for work on time. I even arrived at work on
time. My day at work was busy, which is a good thing. I
sold a lot of transition lenses which is great, more money
in my pocket. Joyce and I had a great discussion like we
usually do. I am so hapopy there. I got home, and changed
into my pj's, and read. The book isn't bad, not great
either. It's interesting to say the least. Tuner bash was a
bit of a let down, but Mindy and Keith really like Chris so
that is a plus. I still don't know why Jen doesn't like
him,m but then neither does she. He is a cool guy, and I
have finally come to terms with our relationship.I like
him, I like being with him, and I don't really care what we
do when we're together just as long as I can spend time
with him. I am such a nerd, but the truth is I would rather
just read with Chris then go out. I am not a needy person i
guess. His birthday is coming up he will be 34. It's a good
thing I don't have Trixadecaphobia or our thirteen year age
difference would scare me lol. Anyway, I hate Bob Evan's,
they forgot me for three hours the other day. I want to
quit, but until I get another job i can't, I am hoping to
get my old job at Trade Secret, then I will have two jobs
that i love. That would be awesome. Plus then I would still
have a life. I have made an odd transitoon, i went from
being the bookish girl who stays home and reads or writes,
to the girl who goes out every weekend with her friends. I
love Jen and Mindy, but I am not a people person and
spending so much time with them is taxing me. I just want
to chill out at home, or with Chris. I want to watch the
door's movie and maybe play the shrek game, and that's
about it. Read of course maybe write some poetry. And I am
not going to try to figure out what he is thinking anymore,
it is too intrusive. He will share what he wants when he
wants to, i am not stressing. I am by nature very open with
my feelings, its hard for me to accept that others aren't,
but i need to.So I am making an effort to do just that.
Here's a list of what i want in life right now:
I want enough money to pay my bills, with a little extra
to use to go out, I want a never ending supply of books, I
want to hang out with Chris and just be happy in the fact
that he just wants to spend time with me and know that he
doesn't have ulterior motives, I want my friends to still
ask me to go out, but to understand when i tell them no, I
want to like my jobs, I want to have my parents trust that
I know what is best for me, I want my car to run properly,
I want to stop eating meat, I want to go to animal rights
protests and not feel like a hipocrit, i want to be more
tolerant of others view points, i want to not take things
so personally, i want to be able to take a full course
load,i want to be able to have time to do my laundry every
day, I want to have a never ending supply of music,i want a
purple bed set, and a purple vw bug, ok take away the last
two things, and I would still be completely happy. Well
freaks of the world, since i know so many people read my
journal, ttfn.




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