things running through my mind.
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2004-03-19 03:48:20 (UTC)

whats the meaning of life

ok.. kristin was talkin about florida today sooi decied to
go abck and read her old journal about florida last year.it
sounded soo great i wish i had ppl like that in my life and
times like that they i would just stay in my memory. i want
a friend like that. She seemed sooo happy. Then heraing
about amandas moms heart attack shes soo much strounger
thenme adn i couldnt never reach her level mayb thats why i
ahte her sumtimes. Or mayb becuase i think krstin is sucha
cool person adn i wanna be her friend and i cant cuz shes
amandas and im justnleft out. I nee more love and to
surrounded by ppl like that but i dotn know where adn how
to get ppl like that.. and i dont know how to be there for
other ppl....

ya soo if u didnt knwo im goin out with kevin now its been
1 month and 4 days... ya all we have is kised. I love
talkin to him though its just fun. But lately i feel liek
im missing something like i just talk and makefun of
eachother and that he never opens up and tells me anything
i want him to open up to me. I always wanna hangout wiht
him and his friends and he never invites me to do that its
just me and him if we hangout... i want it to be a more
kind and caring relationship, i dont know what i want i
always thuoght that i would be more happy if i had a bf but
now that i have one i still feel the same. I still feel
like im missing something. That i need more.. and i still
take everything for grant it. IM the worst at that... i
never reallize how much ill miss somethign until its gone.
I dont really like like like kevin but im glad i have him..
but then today he didnt cvall me at all and normally hes
the one that calls me.. and i felt like we were growing
apart soo i felt lonely and that i need to do more for him
and make things exciting but i dont know whow.. im just a
boring person i guesss.....

i need sumthing but i havent firgured it out yet.?!