nin137

Nick's Journal
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2004-03-19 02:14:05 (UTC)

If you were taking these many drugs you'd pass out randomly too

i'm sorry mom. i know i was supposed to meet you tonight
at 7 but i passed out due to the drugs that i ingest. i
went to the "health" center, and complacent with american
routine they pumped me full of drugs so that they could
collect the bill. i fell asleep at 4 today and i set the
alarm for 6, little did i know that i had set it for a.m.
please don't be mad.
the only way to escape the nauseating reality of self-
righteous bastards and cowardly didactic new-age prophets
lamenting via online entry was to pump myself full of the
drugs prescribed to my ailment.
i hate it all.
i don't hate you, don't be mad at me, i know you, its my
medication i'll puke it all up, i already do. i'm sorry i
try so very hard and i failed my quiz today, what if i
don't graduate? i thought i was smart. what a silly,
sorrowful, surrender i've made to the fact that i am at
best average.
i flow amongst the massive drag of people abrasively
brushing past me in an attempt to "get somewhere". i'm not
going anywhere. my lifestyle has no tolerance for the
lifestyle that i aim to lead.
what crane of love and affection can lift me out of my
hole? i don't know, i'm sure this is the medication
typing. i wish sometimes that i were all alone in this
world, not one person to touch me or call on me, yet i'm
hurt when nobody cares. i read books because they do the
one thing i love. my love is faith in humanity and a good
book gives me a character where i take a deep breath and
realize that atleast the image of a perfect human being is
being realized, if it may be in the passive tense.....it
is only a comment on our ridiculous excuse of a society.
for every mongrel asshole that feels his opinion matters i
realize that those ideals are exactly what they are.
ideals in the minds of man.
essentially they are grandeous shits that come out as a
stream of diahrrea.
which reminds me.
i need a stool sample.
i'm the wrong person to ask for as stool sample. i go
into details.
"so i hold this under my anus?"
"yes that's correct"
"what if it's......uh, liquid?"
"that will be a problem, have you had liquid stools?"
"i don't know, it's not like a bring a camcorder to the
bathroom with me."
"yes, but you'd know if you had liquid stools."
"yes, i would know if my anus turned on like a faucet."
"use an old butter container then."
"country crock?"
"what?"
"i just have the paper butter containers, dave'd kill me
if i used that."
"who's dave?"
"my roommate."
"buy some country-crock"
"haha."
"what?"
not as bad as the convo with my "physician" - meaning
monkey that is paid to perform random medical routines.
"hi, how are you feeling?"
"oh, ok, i guess. i'm just here for a tune-up and oil
change."
".................."
i didn't think he was down with colloqualism.


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