maria reyle

pieces of my heart
2004-03-18 16:45:00 (UTC)

life or something like that

stayed home sick today. i just have a cold but i know it
will never get better if i dont get sleep and when my alarm
went off at 530 i thought i was gonna die and my mom
understood and she let me sleep in and i just woke up and i
feel 100% better so its all good. today was only a half day
anyway. but it was a blue day and blue days are better....
well maybe, i dunno they suck just as much as gold days i
suppose. well whatever. apparently christina and liz still
hate each other and now liz is mad at me. i hope christina
isnt too. everything really sucks when your two best
friends are having probs. well its actually btw all 3 of us
and i mean, me and liz and christina are so tight. theyre
like my everything and i love them so much but i hate when
we all let guys get in the way of our friendship. its
always CHICKS BEFORE DICKS! no duh! well i know we will
work everything out soon. we always do. it will be ok. but
right now it sucks. its just like the chase thing. but
really pisses me off is way liz is acting toward kyle now.
i talked to kyle about it last night on the phone and i
mean you dont do that to your best friend's ex. we just
broke up too. and the whole josh thing is totally dumb, and
im glad liz decided to stop talking to him bc i think thats
the thing she should have done frome the very start and
then none of this shit would be going on. but whatever.
what happens, happens. i can live with it. things are good
with my mom now. shes working out the probs in her life now
so that makes me feel alot better. i had a scary dream last
night though, i dreamed my parents found my stash of
cigarettes and like they found out all this shit about me
and yeah i went to this drug rehab place it was liek that
movie we watched in health called "not my kid" and yeah. im
like paranoid now. lol. oh well. its all good. life is all
good. i think. oh well. i feel so young but also so old. 15
is a really weird age to be in. people treat me like too
much of a kid and i hate that. but they also expect me to
act like too much of an adult.i cant wait til im outta
fuckin high school. theres waaaaaaaaaaay too much high
school drama. too much sex drugs school work, pressure...
im fuckin sick of it and i just started high school like 7
months ago. lol. i have a long way to go. there's too much
she's a slut, they slept together, omg, hes hot, omg shes
fine, way too much emphasis on relationships. and im so
sick of relationships. im sick of guys wanting to get with
me, asking me out.... i seriously just wanna concentrate on
school - becoming a writer and therapist, concentrating on
God and just having a good time. a good time that doesnt
mean sex beer and weed. seriously. i want some substanence
to life. i want meaningful relationships and ive realized
that no matter how hard i try im never gonna have another
relationship like me and andy's and i realized how much i
took that for granted. so im done with all that shit. so
yeah thats my sermon for today. im gonna stop spending time
on this comp and im gonna go do some meaningful things.




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