blkdragon

grounded
2004-03-17 04:57:46 (UTC)

On the One..............!

I didn't roll tonight, stayed home and found some earlier
works, the Eulogy for my Brother and another piece; I was
happy to find the Eulogy. Last night Joshua's pahtna,
Chris Money came to pick up a cell phone one of his
friends left in my car, Chris brought a sample of his
artwork; Joshua's spoken highly of it. Come to find that
Joshua has also spoken to Chris of my artistry, Chris
emphasized that, I was warmed.
I wanted to find the Eulogy while Chris was here, didn't
happen. Chris has never been in my presence without Joshua
and has always appeared to be uneasy with me, my son says
that he's that way with all parents and authority figures.
Joshua called while his "boy" was here, I surprised him by
putting Chris on the phone, I heard Joshua lhao. He was
wondering if the world was coming to an end and of he was
missing it. The last thing in the world Joshua would ever
expect is the two of us (Chris and myself) together
without him.
Wait until Joshua finds out how long Chris was here, I had
to kick "son" out of my house @ 1:10am, he was enjoying
our talk; I did most of the talking-haha. Chris came to
the apartment @ 6:30-7pm. I also found sketches I'd done,
self-portrait, hand study, Storm and Gambit(X-men), Fu-
Manchu (Iron Man) and a map for a story I've been piecing
together. Chris' work was very busy and extremely
interesting, seems his spirit is in chaos and that showed
in his art, too many conflicting thoughts and emotions at
once; I loved it!
I've allowed Charles the use of the cell phone for an
hour, he earned another hour by being punctual ending his
call.
Thursday night, I know everyone will ask why I didn't make
it to the rink tonight. They'll have missed me, being a
fixture and all!
Last night, Pat IM'd me, I didn't notice until 20 minutes
later; she'd already gotten offline. She has my number
and she could've called, she didn't, nothing to lose sleep
over; she's definitely not the one, she just wants to be!
I bought a small bottle of Godiva, Chocolate Cream
Liqueur, I'll add it to a cup of coffee before bedtime; a
third of the bottle, it's only a 50ml bottle.
Charles seemed to be peaceful tonight. He called me this
afternoon, to tell me that he was doing what I asked him
to do and he asked if there was anything else I wanted him
to do, I didn't respond well, because I don't trust my
son. I explained that all he was supposed to do was what I
put on the board this morning, I couldn't remember what
they were, but he should have;I was concentrating on my
job. I got home and he wanted me to bring him to his
friend's house, then he wanted to use the phone to make
sure his friend was home, I said no to both and explained
my reasons; he asked me how he was supposed to get there,
I told him that was his concern and not mine. "You're 18
and you're asking me that shit"? The fact that he's still
not thinking about doing anything for himself, he wants
everyone else to do for him.
Again, he didn't like what he was hearing, I'll say it
until it sinks in though. Tonight was different and I'm
glad I didn't go to the rink, I hugged him and sent him to
bed, noticed his heart was beating rather quickly; I
should've held him longer and tighter, then kissed him.
I'll certainly touch Charles more, lovingly! Kiss him
before I leave for work, even if he's sleeping, his body
will remember.

I'm listening to Nik Kershaw, Trinitee 5.7 and Debelah
Morgan, if you can; give a listen, nuff said.

Thanks for the pics, Erykah, always had a sweet tooth for
chocolate and I love the way you play with me!
Mocha, your name says it all, but your mind finishes the
sentences. Ha Ha! I relish your thoughts! Drop by for the
piece de resistance anytime, I believe that feeding the
body is the same as feeding the soul!
Thinking about you Tiffany.
Anastasia, hope all is well.
Pretty, got your mail.
China, hope you're having fun and the car situation is
resolved favorably, like it getting repaired at no cost to
you. Don't forget, waffles, bacon; eggs over-easy and
coffee. Breakfast, Brunch, doesn't matter!

"The eye with which I see God is the same eye with which
God sees me"-Eckhart

Be at peace, all!




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