nin137

Nick's Journal
2004-03-16 20:55:06 (UTC)

Worst bus ride home ever

if you know me, you know that i am the pinnacle of
patience when it comes to human error and character
flaws. some people's goodwill and philanthropic attitudes
are branches that hold up to the gusts of strong winds and
there are some who's love for people are a twig that snaps
at the slightest gust. i am a firm oak trunk who's love
for humanity takes a horrific hurricane of human error to
be uprooted from my soil of goodwill.
today's busride home was that hurricane. i take the 3:15
bus off of campus after a long fucking day and of course
it's packed to the brim (as usual). the only seat left
was between this fat guy and a skinny guy who looked half
black half white, more accurately he looked as if he had
just slightly been painted with a very light brown crayon
and gotten punched in the lip, disparingly i sat down
between them and the fiasco began. the flavor of the
month had one of those really puffy, poofy afros that he
had tied to the back of his head with a head band. so
basically his head looked like a barren wasteland in the
front with a brush-fire waiting to happen in the back.
his hair took up more space than he did which was a
nuisance. the fat guy next to me kept on shaking his leg
and it was slightly vibrating through the seat causing
just the slightest amount of irritation causing me to
squirm uneasily. to top it off one (or both) of them
smelled like they had been dipped in dogshit before they
got on the bus.
so there i am trying the awkward tribulation of what do i
stare at in a packed bus. i looked straight ahead and saw
one of the ugliest girls in my life. she was what in
german we call "verfressen" i don't know the equivalent in
english but it is a term very often used to refer to
americans who aren't necessarily overweight but just seem
as if they "indulge too much". her face was covered in
pimples and completely red, and her eyes looked like two
appleseeds punched into a very pasty white dough.
furthermore, it looked as if she were staring directly at
me, but i couldn't tell if she really was cos i figured
she didn't have much leeway as to how to move her eyes
about her abomination of a face.
then came the real kicker. to the right across from me
sat this sorority girl who was carrying on a conversation
with a girl two seats over (more accurately she was
talking at that girl). i have never in my life heard a
girl say "like" so many times. 65 or something along
those lines for a 20 min. conversation. i am not
bullshitting. not only did she say like a lot but she had
that horribly annoying nasal voice mixed with a hint of
scratchy "i smoke too god damn much to have a feminine
voice". i seriously prayed that her vocal chords would
snap, yet surprisingly they didn't. she spoke for the
entire (elongated) bus ride. i mean the whole time,
except for maybe to breath in a whiny nasally congested
breath of air and let it out in a desperate and frantic
whoosh which was followed by a stampede of agonizingly
held in words. she spoke of the most mundane, inane,
drivel that if she had spoken in another manner i still
would have wished the pits of hell on her. everything
from how she was an expert at deciphering which one of her
friends were ho-bags over spring break to how she almost
like totally like died like of this really like hot hot
pepper.
i'd like to tell her what i'd like to do with her ass and
i don't think she'd like it.




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