Jack's Twisted Kingdom
lux et umbra, sed semper amor
Dear Friends, Lovers & People who casually care,
I really do appreciate that you all care enough to ask. I
do. I understand that the questions come from a place of
friendship & concern. I’m not ungrateful for that.
But you have got to stop asking. I’m not fine. And when you
push me to say I’m anything other than fine, and then push
harder for me to tell you why, it makes me uncomfortable and
a little angry. It isn’t your business, and I don’t want to
talk to you about it. Honestly, in the end you’d likely wish
you had never asked. It’s not a pretty story, and by the end
of it, we’d all be feeling awkward and uncomfortable. You
wouldn’t know what to say, because there is nothing you can
say. I’d be raw and upset from rehashing it all. Don’t drag
me to that place. As it is, when I do break and tell you a
little, you give me pep talks that serve only to make me
feel worse. They devalue what I’m feeling, trivialize how
I’m dealing with personal tragedy, and make me think that
there must be something wrong with me if, God forbid, I do
start feeling a little overwhelmed by it all. I do that to
myself enough without any further assistance from you lot,
thanks very much.
I just want to be left alone. Some days I may not be chipper
and bouncing off the walls, but my mood isn’t affecting my
work. I’m pleasant to visitors and callers. I’m getting done
the things that need to be done. I’m even taking a few days
off to try and collect myself. All I need from you is to be
allowed to handle my life the way I see fit without having
to constantly answer questions and explain myself and the
I will eventually feel better. I’ll be brighter and happier.
But don’t count on it any time soon...