ashertsel

Amy
2004-03-16 01:56:00 (UTC)

3/15/2004 - Falling Hard

Wow - been a very long time since I wrote anything in
here. I met this man and I've fallen deeply head over
heals for him. I met him online at www.soulmatefind.com.
It's a semi-free dating service and works really well.
As you may know, I live in a small town in Indiana that
doesn't have many people - I met a guy who lives ten
minutes away from me in the same town. We started talking
online on February 9. Ever since then we have enjoyed
numerous phone calls for lengthy amounts of time - (like
everynight for 3 or more hours.) We have talked about his
past and mine.
He is bi-racial... half-black and half-white. His dad was
black and his mom was white. When he was 2, he was adopted
by his step-dad and became a Jr. because the man that he
was adopted by had the same name as he did!! We talked and
talked and for the first time in a long time, I felt myself
let my guard down.
Since my divorce, even when I date and like the guy, I
never show it. I felt cold and icy inside and figured that
when the guy decided to leave (they always would) it would
hurt less. Although this was true for my relationships (if
you could even call them that) I wasn't happy. I was the
one who always fell too hard too fast... and although it
did end in heartbreak sometimes, I also loved the rush of
emotion that I got when I fell for someone.
So yesterday, Mike and I decided to meet for the first
time. We didn't have a lot of time (I had a babysitter and
he had to pick a friend up later that night) but we met at
7pm and went to a movie. Now, I know that movies aren't
necessarily the best for a first date, but when you've
talked as much as what we had, we figured that it wouldn't
be that bad. In fact, it worked out in my favor. While
watching a really stupid movie, I had the nerve to hold his
hand. I know that this sounds really pathetic, but I've
come to realize that it's the small things that really
matter. When it was done and we were leaving, the kiss he
gave me was amazing. It was a small slow and romantic
kiss - the ones that you see in the movies and wish that
they could only happen in real life. The way that it made
me feel was amazing - I still get butterflies just thinking
about it.
Now keep in mind that this man is gorgeous - he's about
5'11" and weighs around 165. He's in good shape and I
could just cuddle up with him all night. I'm larger than
he is, but he tells me how beautiful that I am. He makes
me feel sooo special and I love him so much.
Amy




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