darkness_takes_over

confessions
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2004-03-15 23:41:46 (UTC)

friends..school..guidance councelors suck!

i was having a really good day today other then my friends
were kinda being idiots and jerks but im used to that,
anyways ya, i was having a great day, which is unusual for
me, even though i usually smile and joke around, im never
really in the kind of happy mood that i pretend to be in,
only today was differant i was actually happy, i dont know
why,i dont know i just know i was having a great day until
period 5 (resource
room) when the schools guidance councelor pulled me out of
class to 'talk' about my arm, i didnt want to talk about it
with her, or with anyone for that matter, the only people i
would ever think of talk about it with are Alicia who is
reallie great she is a sweetie, and Michael, who doesnt
even know im alive so ya, i think he kinda hates me too but
im not sure. he told me one time that he never wanted to go
out with me and that it was his brother pretending to be
him who asked me out on msn, that reallie hurt, i wanted to
cry when he told me that since i reallie did like him and
all that i thought he was the sweetest and hottest or
cutetest guy in Vincent Massy. i really liked him, and he
told me that he never actually wanted to go out with me, at
our grade 8 farewell after party. it reallie sucked, but i
pretended not to care and pretended to have fun , i did
have fun before that, i guess i had fun after that to,but i
was still upset. but whatever, so many words for one
person, and none of them hatefull or spitefull and i dont
think i will ever have anything hateful or spiteful to say
to Michael, i dont think i would ever reallie have a reason
to. i am amazed at how many words you can use that mean the
same thing how many words you can use to describe one
thing, like weird, differant, odd, strange, outcast, ect.
im sure there are other things that mean the same thing as
the words above i just cant thing of any right now. but
anyways back to my main point, The councelor is an idiot. i
mean she made this reallie big deal about it and called my
dad who by the way is going to kill me when he gets home
tomorrow, its amazing how one person can fuck up someones
whole life by just one thing as simple as a phone call. and
ya so that and she said that she wants to talk to my family
doctor and see if i need counceling outside of school,
maybe even anti-depressants. i dont know everything is
screwed up right now, i know i love ian and thats about it
right now. anyways gotta go, again if anyone has
more tips for how to stop S.Iing i would reallie appreciate
it since it is getting me in alot of trouble and i can
stop, its like this stupid addiction. anyways ya if you
have any advice i would reallie appreciate it. thanx.
As always, Fade Away:
Meagan. R.


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