2004-03-12 02:40:37 (UTC)

fight with allora

hey, i know its been a while. ive had stuff to do, or as
much stuff as one without an active social life can have to
do. Me and Allora had a fight today, this morning actually.
i was so mad, i still havent talked to her, well i tried to
be her partner in Gym, we didnt need partners but there
wasnt enough thingys to do arobics and allora needed to
pair up with somebody so i tried to be nice and pair up
with her but no, she just had to be stubern and annoying.
so she just sat out the whole gym period instead of just
pairing up with me, i mean how stupid. i am like the
biggest Idiot in the world, i was so upset i wasnt even
thinking at school and i started S.I.ing. i havent really
been cutting lately just scratches, carving and i dont
exactly know what you would call it, maybe peircing, i dont
know but ive been taking a pin and putting it through the
skin on my arms, i swear i could have like rings on my
arms, it would look so weird, but it would be a statement i
guess, come to school with my arm peirced. lol i know im a
freak, like who would think of something so stupid.
anyways, ya. The only thing Allora and Ashley care about
right now is that im still dating Ian they dont like him,
they dont even realize that im about to have a
fuckin break-down or something, i cant stand all this shit
that it going on. The other day Allora sent me an e~mail
about abortions, that really upset me, i thought out of all
the ppl that would do that it would be Ashley. it also had
a picture of a baby that was burnt to death in a fire. the
baby was only a couple months old and all burnt and
everything, it was really upsetting, i looked at it with
Ian and it upset him to. i cant believe something so stupid
could make me cry but it did for like 15 minutes i just sat
on Ians lap and cried, and he just held me. i love it when
he just holds me. oh ya and his parents asked me to live
there with Ian and them, in the spare room they have down
stairs, it totally caught me off guard, i didnt know what
to say. and i dont know what to do, i dont know if i should
or not. Ian really wants me to and his parents seem to
really want me to also, i just dont know what to do. Right
now i have ive places on my arm that i have 'peirced' that
have not healed yet, and about 15 cuts that are almost
healed, and the scar vertically down my wrist still wont go
away. i wish it would, but its not that noticable. anyways
im at my grandmas and my dad is here to pick me up.
Hopefuly i will be able to write back tomorrow, if not only
a about a couple days and i will foresurly be able.
As Always, Fade Away:
Meagan. R.
P.S: If anyone out there S.I's and needs or wants help i
really recomend www.ruinyourlife.com or
www.recoveryourlife.com. that is if you havent already
checked them out.
Fade Away:
Meagan. R.