malenky devotchka

Bella Morte
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2004-03-11 02:49:43 (UTC)

stuck in a room full of people you hate?

there are specific and hell inducing conversation lock downs
and ins that can be simply avoided but are not for certain
reasons. i attribute it to a distinct lack in social
tactics. one is not to be blamed for getting stuck in a room
full of people one cannot stand. it can become quite
unpleasant when they are the type of people who like to
sound smart, hear themselves talk and only want to talk
about themsleves.

if one is submerged in a room full of up-ity*, snobby**,
pseudo*** intellects, and finds oneself at the center of a
very pointless conversation that is growing increasingly
frustrating, all that need be done is to stop talking. once
said unfortunate person has shut up and started listening,
the pseudo intellects will begin a battle trying to out-do
one another's culturedness. it is quite humorous when viewed
from within the circle of the conversation, but has proven
to be equally entertaining when observed at a distance.

another bad conversation situation is when one is cornered
by a known gabber. the type that begin with "how've you
been?" and continue with questions that he (or she) couldn't
answer if their LIFE depended on it. they are usually quick
to agree (they aren't terribly bright) but before long they
start talking about themselves and before YOU know it, you
know that "so and so" is dating "what's her name" and "you
know who" is jealous. one can humor the gabber and laugh
silently within, or perhaps excuse themselves by making a
beeline for the bathroom, or signal a friend for help, two
if you are lucky and can begin dominating the conversation
immediately. gabbers don't do well in large groups, then
they are forced to compete and the sole intention of a
gabber is to have complete attention.

bumping into those you absolutely, without a slim chance of
a doubt, opposite ends of the earth, cannot stand people can
also be a social hazard too. if there is a mutual friend or
friends near, the person will most likely stop to shoot the
breeze. this can be tolerated. it is when they sit down to
spite you and you feel like chucking your soda at them that
the situation becomes dire. there are two options. no, make
it three. one, make it expressly clear you do not wish to
have them around by taking hold of a conversation and not
just leaving them out, but leading the conversation into an
arena in which they cannot contribute, or are perhaps
offended or embarassed. the second choice is to grit teeth,
clench fist and bear it. the third, if the mutual friend
isn't that close, go ahead and chuck the coke. it'll make
you feel better.

the last is the insanely excruciatingly painful family
conversations which can vary from talking about your grades
(oh shit) to your love life (or lack there-of) or, your body
(skip instructions and leave conversation now, you don't
want to hear it, trust me) now, the grade topic of
conversation is usually brought up by a sibling or kin, if
so, throw threatening glances at them from across the room
if you have an idea they may be up to it. if it is already
the topic brought up by the sibling, spill all dirt (maybe
not all) on them to transfer the attention over into their
lap. if it is the mom and dad stuck at the kitchen table
grades are sucking, you used to be such a good boy/girl/both
what the hell is going on, kind of a situation, bring up the
body. it will usually freak them out and keep them
temporarily stunned, long enough for one to bring grades up
or find better excuse. and if you can't keep them out of
your love life, that's your problem. geeze you're dumb.

oh, and worse case scenario- if you are stuck in a room
full of pseudo intellects, whom you cannot stand, opposite
ends of the earth, like to hear themselves talk, corner you
plus they are relatives discussing your grades, body and
love life. take gun, point to head and pull trigger, it'll
be a lot less painful to deal with.

one last scenario, if you are stuck reading an on line
journal entry some random person you don't know (who just
might be an eighty year old man) wrote because they were so
incredibly bored, scroll back up to the top of the screen
and click "read what others have written", or close browser
now by clicking on the "X" at the corner of this window. if
there is no "X", well, i guess you're out of luck.

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