blkdragon

grounded
2004-03-10 05:02:35 (UTC)

Pimpin reliable friends

For some strange reason, I've been on some Pimp shit, I
downloaded Richie Rich and Suga Free; burned two cd's and
have been pumpin the bump in the trunk. Brings to mind
the Mother of a girl Charles used to see, the girl was too
young and I had to squash the situation. Charles told me
that after the Mother had seen me, she told him I looked
like a pimp, I was dressed in work clothes and (for the
life of me) can't seem to imagine where she got that
visual from. I didn't say much to her and I don't front
for anyone, it caused me to be curious about the vibes I
give out, not saying I plan to change. My Father told me
that any man can use a woman the doesn't care about herself
Accept me as I am or don't, not too concerned anymore, I
am the way I choose to be.
I see people as they present themselves to me, most times
I either allow them access or I don't, there's never a
middle of the road; don't know if that's a good thing!
Once a person proves that they're not worthy of my trust,
they're done! I extend my trust as a matter of course, off
the bat, unless the vibe I get says stay away.
I find that there are some people that I don't like and I
don't know them at all, I can't help but trust my
instincts and they haven't failed me yet. With Nadean, in
the beginning, there were "tells". Little things that
cause an eyebrow to raise, things about her character as a
person. Must tell you though, I love her and wanted to
love her very much, I chose to ignore the tells; put them
on the back burner.
The sound of her voice still crashes on the walls of my
tympanic membranes, I remember how happy I'd get when she
talked. Haven't heard from her, she's haughty and she
believes she's teaching me a lesson, she's really too full
of herself and there's no room for me in there. Bad thing
is, those feelings I have haven't changed, good thing is;
I'm in control of myself. She thought me a fool in love, I
loved, yes; but never the fool.
I've yet to meet the woman that can please me as I please
myself, maybe that's where the pimp shit comes from? Not
talking about sex, getting a nut is sufficient for most
men, of course I'd love to have my woman make my eyes roll
to the back of my head.
Everyone seems to be hiding their true selves. We put our
best foot forward, polish our attitude, curl our
eyelashes, brush our teeth, shine our shoes, iron our
pants. This is all well and good, what about the person we
are when we've just finished drooling on the pillow, when
we've farted under the covers, when we've blown our noses
and missed some of the snot, when we snore like a wind
tunnel filled with chunks of rock, when our hair is filled
with lint from taking off our shirts?
Why do we have to wait an acceptable period of time before
we let these cats out of the bag, why can't we just be the
person we are when we're alone. Yes, cleanliness is a
must, hygiene is a mark of the higher form of animal! Why
does it take so long to be comfortable with each other? If
I am not what you seek, for whatever reason, why can't you
just say; "I think I am looking for someone else, I did
have a pleasant time with you though?"
Are the games still necessary? You ladies know in the
first 15 minutes whether you want us or not, whether as a
bed mate or something with more meat in it. We know
instantly as well! The minute we open our mouths, male and
female, the other knows what to expect and if we don't
want it; we should be tactful and discuss it, then be on
our merry way. We're afraid of hurting each other's
feelings, afraid how the other person is going to take not
being your choice, if informed with care there should be
no animosity. I was able to do that with a couple of
women, it hurt them at first, they are my most reliable
friends now.
Nodding out, must go to bed now, Night!




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