TheLuminousFish

You Can't Go Home Again
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2004-03-10 00:04:55 (UTC)

Pre Summertime Blues

Friday night was great. Just mike, david, me and the keys.
The keys and I. The sweet melodies that poured from the end
of my fingertips seemed to ignite the ears of everyone in
the room. The beats thrown down by David complimented every
note I played. The struming and noodling layed out by Mike
created harmony with the drums; with my notes. We were
together, our tune was eternal. This was to be the main
point of our album, that was quite certain. I'm proud of
it, seeing as the tune is somthing I composed. That sort of
thing makes me happy.
Friday night she picked me up from practice. We took Mike
home, I watched him wadlle up to the garage door, and
hobble inside. Oh Mike, he makes me laugh.
We ventured around our town, our city. We stopped by
Pat's. Oh Pat. He makes me laugh because I want to kill
him. I think then we went over to Jessica's. Her friend. I
like her friend. Her friend is funny, her friend is nice.
Later, I was returned to my home. I immeadiatly went to
sleep. I was tired.
The next day I woke up. I had a show that evening. With
my band. It was going to be a good day. I was looking
forward to it. Practice at 1:30. That was to be an escape
from home. I called her like I was asked to, she arranged
to come hang out then take me to practice. She got there,
and my dad had just gotten home. He seemed like he was in a
bad mood. I told her we should proubably just go, I just
needed to go inside and get some things. My bass, for
example.
My dad. The yelling. For no fucking reason. Iwas being
very professional about it. He was making me do some
trivial task, which I was doing "wrong". Very professional.
Andthen. Hello. It rushed to me. Freeing itself from some
eternal labryinth. I threw myself around a little, crying,
wanting to know what I was doing wrong, why he hated me. I
let himknow that I wasnt his perfect child and I'm not
everything. I am not my fuckign grades. I am not my fucking
skill application. I am not my attention span. I had had
enoungh talking. I hit the ground. Pulling at my hair,
unknowingly. I was in a pile of tears, snot and hair. When
I regained control of myself, I noticed the large pile.
That's a lot of hair. He told me I was ground. I told him
no. He told me not to point. I told him he was wrong. I was
going to this show, and that's all there is to it. Sarah
was still waiting outside. I grabbed my bass and walked out
the door. The tears had partially dried. She knew somthing
was wrong, otherwise I wouldn't of taken so long. We drove
off and I told her the whole story. She held me. I cried.
She told me everything was going to be okay. I cried. I
laughed. This was all kind of funny. In that sick sort of
way. My dad didn't like me, and that was all there was to
it. I called him and "appologized". I just didn't want to
be grounded.
We played the show, It was nice. The venue was the size
of my living room. It was awesome. We've got a show there
again April 10th. I left with Sarah, and Jessica, we went
over to her house. Jessica's that is. I went on a walk,
Sarah insisted that she come with. I didn't mind. The night
was young, and I needed a little exercise. I talked about
my rollercoaster of emotions. From tranquility to
depression to tranquility and back again. I talked about my
severe hate for scoiety. For what this bullshit
culture "stands for". No. Fuck you America. Fuck the world.
You're all goign to fuck yourselves over, and you'll be
crying about it. Didn't you see it coming. I mean really.
Thanks humanity, You're an asshole. We left jessicas, took
this new fellow that showed up 5 minutes earlier, Justin,
to work. At Bill's Donuts at 9 at night. He was working
till 7 the next day. That must suck. But I wouldn't mind
it. Perhaps I'de even enjoy it.
Wouldn't that be a little quaint life? I'de be a 3rd
shift donut baker, and her a 3rd shift Steak and Shake
waitress. We'de spend the rest of the night together,
dancign the night away, in our own world. Everyone else is
asleep. I'de have her all to myself. Oh greedy me.
Anyway, we visited her elementry school.The wall. The
detention wall. She told me everything she felt when she
sat there. I loved it when she explained that sort of
thing.
We drove to a secluded spot, sorta. Golf course. We
stared up at the stars. It was a full moon, everything was
lit up.
On our 2 monthaversery, it's a new moon. Everything will
be dark. Excellent.
Sunday I didn't see her. Monday I didn't see enough of
her.Today I saw a lot of her. after school and such. Just
lying around. Talking. Listening to the music of mine she
seems to love.
I like that alot too. When she likes the music I do. That
makes me happy. I'm not alone. Oh happy happy day!
This weekend I think mike and david and I are gunna jam
again.


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