confessions of a never ceasing mind
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2004-03-07 23:22:43 (UTC)

deadly intent

wearing a gown of the deepest black, remembering where I
came from, what I have survived. A deadly anniversery.
one month before my crimson flow ran over the white flesh.
Today is the day of the one year anniversery of the day my
world ended, after my hope for the bittersweet taste of
love, was torn, leaving me crying, bleeding and dying.

A woman that I should have been able to trust in the
highest, the one that most can run to with a scrape and she
would be loving, safe and warm. The one who sang you
lullabies, the one who made the monsters in the closet
run. The one that smiled when you drew her a picture, no
matter how childish, it was a piece of art to her.The one
to take care of you when you were sick, the one that should
have been, not the one that was.

Mine left me in the darkness, crying and bruised, nursing
scars that never show, yet never fade. Screaming in the
darkness to a god that does not hear, will not see. the
words of venom, tipped on an arrow of pain dig deeply
spreading through you, making you weep. The wind screams,
taking your cries away, tearing them apart. "I do not
need another problem in this house" Tears me to the core,
as fresh today as it was when those words, were uttered
from a smiling face.

I am in mourning
bleeding , dying
the facade of calm disintegrates
showing the pain, showing the hurt
alone in the dark, tears flow

and yet I laugh, I smile, I pretend
nothing is wrong, nothing amiss
the mask of defense, the mask of emotions
soon to pour a crimson flood

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