jen

Too Much to Say
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2004-03-07 22:31:11 (UTC)

fool

why?! why do i drink? uhg! i hate the way i act when i'm
drunk. it makes me not like myself, and i'm a very
confident person. i've never had issues with liking who i
am. but i hate who i become when i'm wasted. it's not fun
anymore, it's embarrassing. thank god the partying high is
finally wearing off. knowing me and my tendencies i
could've easily destroyed myself if i continued down this
path too long. i'm reading my favorite book series again
for like the fourth time, and i'm realizing how much i'm
like the evil chick! i mean, i'm not evil and all, but i'm
like her when she was young. i see the same character
traits in myself as i do in her. i know i know, she's a
fictitious character and all, but there's truth in her
actions and consequences. as a young girl she's high-
spirited, innocent, passionate, hot-tempered, selfish, and
running after excitement and entertainment. she does
anything and everything to get what she wants, very strong-
willed. but in the end, that thirst for life and self-
fulfillment leaves her drained and dry. she can never get
enough, the high's always wear off, and she needs something
bigger the next time. i don't want to end up like that. i
don't want to be dead and dried up inside.


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