Codesmith

Life, Or Something Like It
2004-03-06 23:13:09 (UTC)

Sick.. Again

It's 601pm. Its dark grey, and the sun has set. I imagine
it's cold.

I can't make this long since it is a feat of wonder that I
am actually at the computer right now. I seem to have
contracted yet another sickness. Normally, I only get sick
like every now and then. Every now and then being, once
every 2 or so years. This is some kind of statistical
annomaly.

It started last night, .. I was feeling rather achy.. a
feeling that I know all too well. A feeling that usually
preceeds intense sickness. Like the flu or something. We
had dinner and watched t.v, my therapist, Lisa, and I.

I so wanted to leave so I could go online and see if
Andrea had signed on, ... but they made me feel guilty so
I decided to stay a little while longer and hang out with
them. Well, I fell asleep needless to say. And when I woke
up, I had the most intense weird feeling of sickness. So I
just thought maybe it was cause I needed to go to sleep.
So that's what I did. It was approximately 1210am at the
time.

So I go to bed, and in the morning... I am incredibly
sick. Actually, all through the night I couldnt fall
asleep. I kept waking up. My stomach hurt real bad.

Needless to say the whole day has been spent in bed, or
most of it. I knew how to alleviate some of my symptons,
but I didn't get around to it till like noon. I didn't get
around to it like noon cause... I really dislike doing it.
And I'll spare the details, out of politeness.

All during the day, I waited for Andrea. Well ok, I didn't
really. I signed on now and then to see if she was online,
and when she wasn't I had to get back to bed cause I was
really so sick that I could not stay standing or sitting.
Actually, even now... I am really very ill.

So, I guess she hasn't been on all day. I kind of wonder
if she's mad with me. Last night, I felt like I was dying.
My heart was really kind of beating quick, and I wondered
how long it had been doing that for the whole night. I
wondered if it would give out. Nah, probably not. I'm
young. Well then again, I haven't been doing calisthenics
for awhile... a long while.

So.. here I am now. Waiting for Andrea. Wondering where
she is. I hope she is fine, and doing alot better than me
right now. Although, .. I am sure that everyone in the
world is doing alot better than me right now.

My therapist wanted to stay this morning and play doctor
for me. She always gets so worried about me... I could see
it in her eyes. But I had to ask her to leave. Because...
for one, I knew what I had to do later, and I sure as heck
didn't want her seeing me or hearing me do it. Secondly,
If this was a flu, I didn't want her getting it.

Ugh. I have to lay down again.




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