confessions of a never ceasing mind
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2004-03-06 19:25:19 (UTC)


I can hear you when I close my eyes, I can see you in my
dreams, beckoning to the the light, holding out your hand.
I reach, only to fall into a darkness, where scream your
name, waking to the world, the cry on my lips.

I wake to the world of light and reason, and yet you still
haunt me, your voice, your laughter, so rich and deep. I
talk to the wind, whisper to the breeze, hoping you will
hear my plea. Hoping it will carry to your senses.

A monster from the past, so dark ond foreboding, holds me
to a wall, I cower in a corner wishing I sould fade,
wishing I could run, wishing I was free. The memory of the
dark night that was my past...trying to control my future.

I run in a field, the grasses caress my calves, the wind
whispers my name, and I run, to it, the light almost
blinding to most, but it is as if it were normal to me.
the grasses are soft to my feet, the smell of the summer
sun making the flowers that hide, spread their sweet
perfume, the grass itself to have a sweet heady scent,
earthy but sweet. I dance in this field of dreams, the
white knee length dress flowing over my body, swirling as I

a man folds me into his arms, I feel safe, I feel warm, and
secure. I stare into the sunset, the sky painting its
colors across the blood red sun. The man fades into
nothing. I smile, watching the sky turn to a deep royal
blue, then a midnight blue, finally dusting with stars
across the clear sky. I turn my face to the stars, still
smiling in the warm summer night.

I am running through a park, my black dress flowing over my
legs, hindering me. I turn to look at my agressor, a dark
shape, having no true definition. the edges resemble
curved swords, the figure moves over the ground, gaining on
me, no matter how fast I run. I fall into an abyss. Hands
line the walls, and as I try to reach out to them, the curl
into fists, so I have nothing to hang on to, nothing to
stop me from falling. my dress however is still, as though
I do not move. my hair blows very little either, only a few
strands. I feel gravity though, feel my body fall.

I am being strangled, my fingernails scoring the attacker.
Marking my progress in thin lines of blood. I cannot
breathe, my world starts to very black, but calm
and peaceful this black is...I want to give in.....