Anonymous

A Story a Day
2004-03-06 02:58:01 (UTC)

Day Five

9:58pm
I don't mean to give off the impression that my writing
today's entry so late has anything to do with my life being
"better" or more "fulfilling." Mostly I get distracted and
don't press submit and then close out the window. I'll be
back.

11:32pm (next day)
Last night was effectively a complete disaster. I went to
Jessica's work to hang out and meet Alice before Jess got
off. We were to go to bars and be silly and flirt but that
didn't work out too well. Alice was only hanging out with
Shane, and Jessica wasn' getting off until 2 so I'd have o
wait. But i was getting really tired by midnight, as that
is usually my bedtime. So the last two hours were just
wasted in vein hopes that Jess would go home with me. By
the end it wasn't even so that we could hook up. It was for
the company. See, duing my sleepy, obviously deranged
visit, I txted Christine and she caled me back. We talked
very briefly because she seemed really out of it and busy
and I either heard a...no it was definately a guy like
talking to someone else in the BG. See I don't know why I
wanted to talk to her. But it din't last long. I txted her
that I couldn't fake being friends anymore and that I hoped
she'd be around when I finally can. Kind of what I did with
Julie, to try and place myself in control. She txted back
with "you can't be my friend? now?" which was a worthless
reitteration. i'm not sure why she sent that except to get
a further explaination and possibly start a fight. so i
never responded. i said what I wanted to. i'm done. now's
the process of getting over her. the letting go thing does
help. It just helps more when there's not some fuck in from
TX who she wanted to date before me. Though the quickness
and readiness of her replies tells me that maybe he's not
there, I will still assume the worst, because that prepares
me and allows me to hurt about it. What I do best. So I
got home and got to sleep around 3am, no time or energy to
write. Good sleep though. Fin.




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