LittlePeanut

It's the small things in life that m
2004-03-04 14:58:51 (UTC)

heartbroken..cant go on

i give up on life right now. im again at a all time low.
life is so screwed up right now. i think that im honestly
going through a mid-life crisis. I dont know what way is up
or what way is down. i cant stop bawling..and i wish i
could. i dont know what to do with my life right now.. or
where im going or who i am or what im becoming. im so lost.
school is draggin..i fear for my datc grades because i
havent been for awhile due to sickness.. i just want to
graduate and get high school hell over with. im sick of
stupid friends at school hating me for the stupidest
reasons, or hating me for reasons that i dont know of.
people treat me like shit and i dont know why. put yourself
in my shoes and then treat me like shit.. its not fun to be
me.
i have alot of people worried bout me. i wish that i could
be happy right now.
the other night i got a phone call from a friend. i've
known him for only a few weeks but i feel like i've known
him for years and i dont know why. he's the coolest person.
well, he called me up the other night bout 11pm.. and after
saying "hi".. he said two things to me. 1-dont let what
other people think of you get in the way. be positive. your
better then them. you deserve better. 2-pray, go to church,
etc. i dont think he knows how how much i needed to hear
that. its amazing how one phone call can help somebody so
much. you never know how much your helping someone without
even knowing it. i wish i could tell him how much i
appreciated that one phone call..thanks.
i wish i had a car. if i did i would go hang out down in
provo tomorrow night. i love being up there. its so much
fun. i can put my stupid davis county life aside and just
have fun.
theres so much more on my mind, but my thoughts cant be put
into words/sentences right now.. i will write more later
when i calm down.. chau.




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