darkness_takes_over

confessions
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Ezoic
2004-03-04 03:46:58 (UTC)

first entry.

Hey. Im Meagan Ritchie, i live in canada and im 15. I am in
grade 9 and not reallie popular or at all popular. i still
hang out with the same people i used to hang out with in
elementry, anctually the same people ive hung out with for
the past 5 or 6 years. i love it and all i wouldnt want to
stop hanging out with any of them but i would like to start
hanging out with other people to. i dont have much of a
social life, especially not rightnow since i am still
unpacking and everything, i just moved in with my dad. its
not that bad, only he doesnt reallie know me then again not
like it reallie matters my mom didnt even know me eiher so
what ever. i wish i had someone else here right now but we
all know that isnt going to happen.my friends dont reallie
understand me but thats okay, i think its better that way,
they never could understand most of the stuff. they have
their own idea about who i am and i dont reallie mind it
even though their idea of me is im the wierd one which i
guess is true and all but thats okay, ive always been the
outcast i dont know why. So about two days ago ashley
yelled at me and was all like what the hell are you doing
to yourself and stuff like that when she saw my arm its
been like that for almost a week and she just noticed now,
which is okay cause i was wearing long sleeve shirts when
it looked kinda bad, i didnt reallie want anybody to see
it, i thought it was alot less noticable i didnt think
anyone would reallie notice thats why i stoped wearing long
sleeve shirits a couple days ago, im pretty much invisable
at school anyways so like it would matter if i didnt wear
long sleeve shirts anyway, no one would notice or even care
if they did. My mom never said anything about it and this
has been going on for three years already, im surprised ppl
didnt ask about my upper arm when i went to massy surprised
and relieved. even though i think one or two ppl may have
asked in massy i think i just said it was my cat. i suppose
i thought it was believable at the time or maybe i wanted
them to know but could never tell them. i cant tell them
all that much well i guess i can tel Richelle and Allora
quite abit but not stuff like that. so this is my attempt
at telling people about me, the real me, assuming i even
know who that is anymore. i found one persons diary entry
on here to be surprisingly alot like me, the things i think
and some of the things i fear. i went to school with this
person but i never really thought we had anyting in common,
but i guess i was wrong, i always thought she was
interesting, and i thought she was kinda kewl, but the ppl
i hung out with made fun of her alot so i couldnt reallie
hang out with her, well i guess if i had half a brain then
i could have and we probobly would have made good friends
assuming that she would have or would ever hang out with me
which i doubt, she probly thinks im a freak, why wouldnt
she everyone else does. anyways she seems reallie kewl now
and ya. i dont really know much of what to write right now.
but i will write tomorrow definitly. until then luv always:
Meagan R.
~lonley gurl~



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