~*angela*~

Sweet 16
2004-03-04 01:01:44 (UTC)

Deja VU

Its almost a full year later since my last entry and I
almost have the same thing to say as b4.....only this time
I can really be happy alone somewhat and Im 17. I met the
man I never met and hes my bf now but as shocking as it it
hes pretending Im not alive again. It kills me just as it
did befor only this time I already have a bf so I cant go
out n get my self a new one....not that id want to. By the
way he lives in AU and I live in the US.Pleas, I hope hes
not going to vanish every year arround this time. Sometimes
I feel like I make most of the effort to keep us to gether
but after all....he did pay a crazy amount of money just to
meet me. I dont know whats going on and I hate that.I love
him..... I could give you a life list of why but I havent
the time and I dont need to justify loving him "I just do"
should be fine. Iv moved again and I hate where i am.
Father hasnt spoken to me in 1 n 1/2 years and my mom ,
terrified of dying alone, is a crazed depressed emotional
roller coaster all the time. Im just along for the
ride...unfortunately. Im afraid of Graduation next June,I
dont know where to go.Cant stay here thats for shure.Im
thinking Australia but I cant stay.I wish I could...The
only way I can stay is if I marry my bf.Only a few things
really scare me, never finding a place I belong for once in
my life, and getting married......every one who marrys gets
hurt n devorced and I couldnt deal with it just couldnt
deal with losing this love of mine ultimately forever.




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