NeVaLoOkBaQ

aNd sO i WrItE
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2004-03-03 03:21:29 (UTC)

Thinking......

*sighs* Well, today.... today was... i dont know it was
iight. It started out slow and then I guess it got slower?
Can't say it was that bad it's just I dont know I've had
alot on my mind and I can't do anything about it or talk
to anyone. That's why I have this.... this journal or
diary?... Whatever floats your boat. Anyway, Today we were
asigned a project due on Friday and I finished it at the
end of the period. I felt happy about that and then 2nd
period came. I really hate my skoo with this pasion. I
want to blow it up. Lol I always mess around and tell
everyone I'mma blow it up and I tell them my plan but my
little ass could never pull something like that. My man is
having alot of problems and I can't do anything about it
and it kills me because if I could trade spots with him I
would do it b4 God could snap his fingers. He's always sad
all the time and I try really hard to change that but no
matter what I do how he feels always seeps back into his
emotions and fucks with him. I made this quote it's for
us.. or him... i dunno... it goes "I'll always be here to
catch you when you fall but I can only hold you for so
long before I fall my self and so then who will be there
to catch me?" I LIKE IT!!...I just lost my best friend it
seems like yesterday. But it was on the 7th and I found
out on the 14th... ha ... it tore me apart but his cousin
worse so I had to stay as strong as I could so I could
help instead of cry. I been going thru so much this year
and last year it's like I grew 10years in age and I only
grew 1. I had to grow up real fast and having to grow up
fast stresses me out because I couldn't be a kidd barely.
Something is always happening and it's bananaz because
it's depressing. I have to think tho.. I think i have it
bad but while I think that some one has it 10 times as
worse. Oh man... I don't know. Lately I've been crying my
self to sleep or waking up in the middle of the night
scared or lost or worried or can't sleep. N when I get to
skoo I put this front on n act like a class clown just so
people won't ... wonder.... I hate that... they so nosey
sometimes... Oh well... anyway This is my 1st entry... I'm
trying to do my best to get a good start because this is
my 1st... nah mean but nah I have too much on my mind to
type so I'll problly sing... or write... who Knowz...
anyway God Bless All Take Care and I dunno? Just keep your
head up?!
I dunno nah mean kidd?
0n3 1uv


Me*


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