'Tha Blonde Goddess'
good surprise: i cut my hair. real short. only the ends of
my hair is blonde. its SOOOOO short.
BAD surprise: my grandfather died last night in his sleep.
i found out after school. i took it really hard. i mean i
lived with the man for over 10 years of my life. nick has
now seen me cry and cody has heared me cry. i feel so bad
b.c i never let anyone see me cry. never. sooo i kinda
feel bad about showing emotion. i never show emotion. but
i did today. they called my mum during work. and i called
my grandmas house after school to see if we could give
nick a ride home or not and she was all depressed kinda
and she told me that she wasnt comeing to pick me up that
my mother was. well i kno that my mum doesnt leave work
for just anything. something must have been wrong. so she
told me that nick should try to catch the bus and if he
didnt that we'd give him a ride. and then she told me she
was on her way. so basically i knew something was wrong.
but i didnt kno what. nick missed the bus so the 2 of us
got in the car and my mum told me in front of nick. i mean
im happy that she did but i cryed in front of him. he held
my hand the whole car ride to his house. he kept kissing
my hand and stuff. and then he gave me a hug when we
dropped him off and just let me cry on his sholder for a
minute and he told me everything was gonna be ok. i hope
so. and ive talked to cody about it. im to the point right
now were im not crying but im not ok. im just blah. just
here. i will be better eventually but...i dont kno when
eventually will be.