2004-03-01 02:05:46 (UTC)

update and more...

Okay, so family didn't come, uncle didn't call, I did go
with my dad for his prescription, and something else, but
don't recall. The uninished scene script I sent on Thrusday
was shot on Saturday with the good camera by two good
actors. One wasn't a girl, but still okay. He did a good
job for this part. I'm thinking for the next casting, when
the script is complete, and perhaps we shoot the whole
thing proffesionally to be a movie, (if that happens, if
the script gets writ and makes it,) then the cast would be
Jurel and Andrea. (I think that's how you spell their
names.) They'd be good together. Besides, I see in Andrea
the type of personality Dialer needs. Andrea is the perfect
most opposite of her. It would work. The scene ended up
being 4 pages though, so we only shot 1/2. There is alot of
uneccesary dialogue in there, which I should eventually
shorten once I get the other connecting scenes along. My
other scene was of descency as well. It's called: What
would you do with a drunkin' sailor? It was a little too
weird for film so we shot the other thing.

Anyway, let's keep up to date though...

Yesterday we played dnd again, and let's just say LOT OF
SHIT HAPPENED. I was there from 9 till 8 in the morning. By
permission only till 5, but later I extended it since I
made a deal with my mom to go to church with her the next
day if I can stay real late. So I figure, hell might as
well stay till the end. I really didn't care. Pissed me off
when she called though.

What pissed me off more was getting bitten by a vampire,
almost dying out of attacks by, not wraiths but some kind
of flame people I forget what they're called. Then Oscar
the fucking centaur get's armor from the gods that has
wings. He's a fucking heavy horse, he's not suppose to have
wings! I should. I'm fucking dragon disciple. I gotta wait
for 6,000 more experiance points. The other group that
split from us got rewarded with meeting the gods, a
festival and ambrosia. WTF damn it. In the end Chris gave
me a hell of a bunch of stuff he didn't need and I got the
wish bag. So technically I am now a 12th level elven dragon
disciple wishmaster. But I don't have my wings damn it.

Moving on,

I'm tired today. Tomorrow we edit stuff for HOWL. This is
gonna take a while and I don't really know how I'm gonna
get there. At the beginning this seemed like an awesome
opportunity, and it still is, but I'm not getting it. I
don't know 1/2 the show. The last 1/4th of it is highly
representational, and we're suppose to do all this hard
shit on the computer/video stuff that looks simple but in
truth is freaking hard. Don't know what I'm gonna work on.
That's the part that I don't like the most. If I know what
I'm working on, I can keep interested and preceede. Even if
I'm preceeding slowly. If I don't know what I'm doing, I
forget what it is that we are doing, and start loosing
interest, well that's not good. So fuck. Hopefully it will
get rolling and I will do stuff on the computer until it or
I fryes.


HERE'S MY PHILOSOPHY: ARE YOU HAPPY? I started pondering on
this whole idea of not having a job. Eventually not having
cash, and how do I keep from not going insane? What is it
that keeps me going, keeps me... (I know I'm not phrasing
it as I'd like to but oh well...) satisfied. There are very
many rich people out there artificially satisfied. Their
glasses seem full but their drinking only 10% real juice.
Some people might have glasses 1/2 full but of 90% real
juice. So who's better off? Whoever is getting more out of
what they drink? No. Whoever is happy. (I really failed at
getting my message across. I know I had it but lost it.) So
basically yeah, doesn't matter what you have. It's how you
use it, and only you can make it gold in your eyes. So I
guess I just gave a good example but for something else. I
thought about this more at church.

I figured, it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you're
happy. Made me think of Reilley and Teresa, the whole gang.
We would be the outcasts, we did alot of crazy things, we
kinda cared about what other people thought, knew we
shouldn't but couldn't. Now we've come off of that. While
putting on my skates I remembered how emberaced I was
wearing my pants that were too small. I put myself through
more hell then anyone else simply because I let people
affect me and get to me. I guess the center of humility,
when it comes to being embarassed for things you wanna do,
like I get sometimes, is silly. All you gotta do is ask
yourself: Are you happy?

If the answer is yes, there is nothing more you need.

I was gonna make myself a bracelet reminder just for the
hey, but I too tired....zzzz