angeloflight5778

confessions of a never ceasing mind
2004-02-29 21:26:44 (UTC)

a woman infatuated?

there are times, late at night when I used to dream of a
white night that would match me in temperament, strength
(alothough his is more) and would take me away to a fiary
tale ending...when one gets older..you stop believeing in
fairytales, brave knights fade into the past. You feel
dejected, mourning the loss of your dreams. Your next
stage, you have accepted it, and decide to move on, to find
one that is close to your dreams. Whether you find them or
not.....well that is left to fate, god, or whatever you
believe in. Kind of a roll of the die thing, not very
comforting.

Now I know better, try to make it and forget about love and
it's life follys. I try to make it in a world that is too
large for it's own good, one that is cold, and heartless,
leaving one on the ground to bleed,...to die. I have been
burned often enough to know this, to know that the only way
to survive is to pick oneself up, dust off, and go about as
if you had expected it.

However....now my mind is plagued with a man, I think of
him more often than is comfortable, and want to hear his
voice, wonder about his touch, want to know him, completly.
He disturbs my thoughts in a way that no one ever has. I
dare not say anything about this...so instead I push him
away, only to have him push right back, never giving an
inch. Our wills are similar, our wits sharp. He keeps me
intrigued, and yet sometimes I want to throttle him. Our
friendly debates are interesting, yet I always want to
win....sometimes though he does have a point I will admit,
and do so freely (I have never beeen one to be stupid and
let a good point go unheeded, nor to not admit a
mistake...life is too short to do that) Infatuation or just
a minor thing that will fade?


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