BrandieBoo

Brandles Diary
2004-02-28 06:39:43 (UTC)

Confused once again

Well, this week has been going by pretty good. I mean I
think it has. All I really remember is ripping my
fingernails off today. Ouchy! And of course Tommers. God,
what am i going to do with him. I am so in love with him.
And he tells me he's in love with me to. But is he? I wish
I could truly know the answer. He's partying right now. And
probably doing something...cheating one me. But he's not
going to tell me tomorrow. He'll probably lie to me. I mean
I shouldn't be thinking that. But, for some reason I do.
Maybe because I trusted him so much before. Then he messed
up. So, it just might take me awhile. Today Allen and those
guys asked me to hang out with them this weekend. Go
Fishing or something. It sounds like fun, cuz it's
something new. But, I never want to because I'd rather just
sit at my house and talk to tommers. Weird huh? I mean he
doesn't want to do that. He'd rather hang out with Stevie
and the six million other people at stevies
house.....including girls. I hate thinking about that. I
know he's cheating on me. Wait. No, I don't. I do but I
think he'll lie to me and not tell me. God damit. I am so
sick of this. I can't just sit at home and cry about him.
Thank god I don't cry anymore. Buttttt I should be out
doing something. Guess it just shows how much I love him. I
dunno. I mean I would go and hang out. But, if I did it
would be with guys. Because all the girls here are gay.
But, if I did that then tommy would think something. I hate
that. When tommers does shit like that...it makes me think
about other guys. That sounds really bad. What I meant was
it makes me want to think about guys. For instance...this
one guy. I have learned to give no names. So, this one guy.
He's so nice. And I've always wanted to hang out with him.
He reminds me of James. Someone I could have fun with.
Well, I don't know. Maybe next week.

want to know something weird? Jeff miner just called and
tommy was with him.....but he didnt' ask to talk to me.
Isn't that a little odd? Maybe he was drunk or something.
Actually he probably thinks......well, she already bought
me the ticket so we can't give it back so even if something
does happen she is going to have to give in to me because I
am coming no matter what. Sad huh???? Anyways, this night
has been like all the others. I just keep getting put down.
Actuallu I don't know put down but Tommers just doesn't
care. I bet I can tell you what his excuse was when he
calls tomorrow. "I didn't know he was on the phone" Or "I
was drunk" Or "I didn't think you wanted to talk to me"
It's like BULLSHIT TOMMY. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! Woops I
cursed,,,,,what you ganna do? Hit me? That's what I
thought. lol okay I am going to bed I have to wake up early
for work. Talk to you later. byebye.

p.s. I almsot died today....almost wish I did.




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