One Day At a Time
a myriad of emotions
I had to go to SC to my uncle's funeral. I never met my
uncle Mark. Judging from the turn-out at his funeral.. he
was a great guy. I also met my fathers other 3 brothers.
They are absolutely awesome! It was really great to be
around my uncles for the first time. They seem to love me
so much and they don't even really know me. I just have so
much time to make up with them. And i'm actually excited
to talk with them and get to know them.
I'm really starting to wonder whether my brother is
actually going to come through for me. He asked me to do a
project for him. In return, he would fix my car for me.
What topic does he choose to do his project on? Rape, of
all things. I came home to rest and get my head straight
since the rape, not to be exploited because I've had an
extremely personal experience and I happen to be a good
student. It was really really hard to do that for him. I
don't know how I got throught it. I relive what happened
to me a million times over. For a while, I went for a few
days without thinking about it all day. After the
project... its back to square one....
What's is the deal with the freakin' weather? Sunny
one day, snowing the next...
Have you ever felt like you want people to call you
but they never do and you wonder why? Well in my case, i
do want people to call me. I'm really scared of rejection
and the fact that i don't have a car to go meet anybody or
do anything is killing me. I went to lunch with ro today
and it was really great to hang out and talk. I miss
times like that. I really want to hang out with Corey but
him being in Chapel Hill and me being here and the no car
thing is really not cool. (-- can you say run on
Still haven't heard anything about my job yet. Kinda
bummed about it but there's always hope.
I've been thinking alot lately about companionship.
I'm happy by myself, no doubt. It would be really great to
share certain things with someone. As the days go by my
heart is getting full of the most positive emotions. I
find myself wishing there was someone around to see it and
feel it. Not anything that I'm pushing but it would be
nice to have someone to hold and call my sweetheart.
On that note, I called my old sweetie, Joe today. I'v
been meaning to call him and let him know that i was
alive. I try to keep him informed about what's going on
with me. I'm horribly curious abot what he's been up to.
He came to see me when i was working in raleigh and i had
a ball. I think he did to. :) He's one of those people in
life that you always want to keep in touch but they never
do. Hopefully he'll call back or write or something but if
not I'll give it another couple months and ring him again.
I guess i should go do something productive now... Not
that this isn't productive but you know what i mean. :)