nin137

Nick's Journal
2004-02-26 05:22:49 (UTC)

My Favorite "album"

lower case and in quotations, for is it really an album?
i say it without hesitiation. i bought it on tape.
that's right; i said it bitch! on tape! it blasted
along my volvo stationwagon speakers as if it were going
out of style; which of course, ironically it was. i'll
say it. "Soul's Core" - Shawn Mullin. That's right. you
like that? you know why? no? neither do i. oh wait i
fucking do, that's why i'm writing this shit.
it's 1998-99.
the bulls just gave me the greatest redemption of all.
all of my dis-belief was crushed and rebuilt by michael
jordan's game-winning two.
i moved to Austria and knew nobody (again). for the
longest time i resented my disposition, until october, i
made friends. how? i found out how. here's the secret
to being popular. hate your environment so much that you
dont' respect it anymore. that's the real definition of
not giving a fuck. secondly, put your all into whatever
you do. it pays off.
anyhow, during these times i listened to tapes on my tape
player to drown out the ominous city sounds bombarding my
fragile cranium. i played everything from mixed tapes to
actual "albums". no, i didn't download mp3s. tapes.
that's all i had from austria. no friends really, nothing
other than the tapes i had for my volvo. how
sentimental. well this was before regional dvds, so wipe
that tear of your cheek bitch!.
i reveled in these nostalgic recollections. but one i
never really listened to was the mullins one. then from
the point at which my life changed, to july 1999; i felt
my presence. i walked with toby when i listened to this
tape, when nobody but me and him were in that cold dark
house. i listened to it when i wrote letters to my
friends, but most of all i listened to it when i road the
tram home. if you've never taken public transportation,
then you hvae no idea how essential an escape from reality
really is.
gazing out the window with the reflections of vienna and
subsequent villages smacking my face in vivid, jagged
imitations of reality, i would listen to a song
that "erleichtete dich". kannt translate it. it's middle-
hoch-deutsch.
pity.
love-life-death-remorse-sympathy.