Mind problems
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2004-02-24 05:13:43 (UTC)

Today was a bore...

Today started really early since i had to go to class and
do the college thing. Well besides that i have to fix some
killer essay, its on hate speech and the cause or effect
on it. I think i finaly have it down...

Today i learned that my friend is a lesbian and she was
very shocked that i didn't think much of it. I though it
was cool that she told me this but i felt bad that i
couldn't tell her that i am a bisexual. I mean its not for
lack of not wanting but since she knows about ricky, my
current boy friend/friend/confidant/x-boy friend. So i
couldn't tell her since it would make a lot of things very
difficult to explain, but i will tell her eventualy.
So i was very suprised yesterday that ricky was talking to
me while he was at work. I thought it was a very sweet act
that he did this. I often have been forced to think that
he doesn't do sweet acts like that anymore because he
doesn't care, but i know he does its just that the
distance is killing us...

Oh i found a very interesting web page yesterday or the
day before www.thesexdictionary.com its a very informative
site if you haven't seen it or checked it out.

why can't i be honest with myself? I lie to myself and
make myself believe what i say is true... i need help...
like a lot. i dont know why i say this but i know that in
some weird way this is true....