kid

Somewhere in time
2004-02-24 04:18:16 (UTC)

Where you go you know i'll be there

Feels: insert feeling here
Listening to: "Time of your life"-Green day
(on repeat..)
Wants: Closure

First off let me say that i have been having panic attacks
and major mood changes today.Oy....its so bloody
annoying ::sigh:: oh well
Today was fine.Woke to my alarm clock playing "Basketcase"
by Greenday. Needless to say....i got up for that
haha.Anyways..i was pleased to find that when i got up that
laurens future husband was already gone so i could shower
in peace ::smiles:: oy what am i going to do when he moves
in?! no more walking around in towels thats for sure.Ok so
i get to school..and get reminded of a quiz....my
reaction "oh holy fuck!!" then i go into fits and what
not.so yeah....fuck right _. anyways..few things happened.
Mr.H talked to each student on their own about how they are
doing in the class and he gave his own personal views and
yada yada.So by the time he gets to me i'm pretty much
Hyperventilating cause i know my hours are fucked cause i
missed some days and i was 2 hours late once.Ok so i get in
all set for him to say "Sorry fran but i'm going to have to
drop you"....what actually happens is that he points out
that yes my hours are poor and i can't miss any days at
all..then he goes on to point out that my grades aren't too
bad but not what they should be.I'm still freaking out then
he says something i really wasn't expecting.."fran..i don't
want you dropped.You have no much talent and you dont' even
see half of it..of all the students you are one of the few
that i really want to see get through this program." and
some other stuff along those lines.yeah....that was
awesome.Made me feel all warm inside yet at the same time i
felt i was letting him down by not doing so hot....oh well
I cut Julianne's hair today!! yay!! she liked it..he liked
it....the class liked it..i got an A for it....yay
everyones happy.Called and talked to chris for a little
while..good times ^_^
Quiz got canceled....big relief!!its on for tomorrow
morning _ and yeah....i can't get my self to study
still..i'm fucked haha.
After school around....5:30 i guess i hung out with
patrick,chris and david while they had band practice.I was
there cause i was trying not to go home ::rolls eyes::
I didn't do much at practice..i sat there and did my class
work..which was all i intended on doing.And of course
listening to them practice.But thats a given.It was cool
though.good thing i had my work to keep my busy otherwise i
would have been all smiles and being happy and all..can't
have that....too noticeable.That may sound confusing but i
know what the hell i'm talking about and thats all that
matters.
Got in a really piss ass mood later.Dude we are talking i
wanted to cry i was so angry.Lord knows why.Maybe built up
frustration or some shit like that.I worry that i'm slowly
becoming a bitch..but then i worry that i'm too soft.Holy
shit those are two completely different feelings!! yet i
feel i'm both!!!! then its like....i dunno....i feel like
getting drunk....
Right now i'm going in and out of moods.I feel like talking
then i feel like being left alone to sit in a corner
collecting dust....then i wanna write....but end up staring
at the computer screen....::shakes head:: and it happens so
quickly that i can't do anything to prepare for the
change.ahhh and now i'm getting mad chills.ah..yeah....fuck.
i need to be more cautious when i'm singing....i can't
sing..i will be the first to admit that fact....but i can't
stop myself..i like to sing along and hope no one hears
me.And most of the time no one does....but yeah..turns out
when i was in the car with patrick and chris not too long
ago i was singing and patrick said he could hear
me ::embarrassed:: then when i was hanging out with them
again another night i did it again!! only because i didn't
really pay attention to the fact that they were still in
the room.Ugh its all Green days fault!! i can't help but
sing along.Next to chris thats what really makes me
happy.OY i am such a moron!! ok....before anyone gets their
feelings hurt..anyone who reads this journal makes me happy.
(which is just two people).Meghan..like you said..you know
me like the back of your hand.You know what will make me
happy and about 98% of the time you cheer me up.The 2% is
because i am being stubborn and will not allow myself to be
cheered up.I love you beautiful
And patrick dude....you fucking listen.That makes me
happy.And you point out that not everything is my fault
even though i still think lots of things are and yada
yada.Your a great guy.Love ya
ahhhhhhhhhhh ok i think i'm done for right now....




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