in silent existance
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2004-02-22 05:05:42 (UTC)

sadness/ happy

well i just set up 2 of my friends and its so cool i am so
glad they r so happy but i on the other hand i am both
depress and happy. i'm so glad that they like each other
and now have each other and wow so happy for them. i am
depressed because i am so utterly lonely. i miss what i had
and think bout it every so often and become sad. i wish i
could get over it but yea the heart wants what it wants and
thats it. no way to change/question it. it just is. its
hard feeling so alone and then seeing 2 of my friends. its
like wow i helped them 2 be happy and now i feel even more
alone. it sucks the big 1. yes i kno all i do pretty much
is complain in this journal but hey thats what journals are
for lol. *sigh* i hate feeling like i have nothing. i'm
sitting here listening to a song called "i can't make you
love me". and sadly its always the truth. like i said
before the heart wants what it wants there is no changing
it. but awe well i will feel better later. i always do. i
just wish i felt better now. but well i don't lol. so
incase my friends read this i love u both and i am happy 4
u and sad 4 me.

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