kid

Somewhere in time
2004-02-22 03:02:07 (UTC)

so close ..enough to taste it..almost....I can embrace this..feeling on the tip of my tongue

Feels: out of it
Listening to: Again..watching Green day videos
Wants: more videos to watch

Been hanging out with tony today.We hung outside..played
tennis for an hour or so....and yeah.It was lots of
fun.He's a good guy and all.Then at some point i went for
a walk down to the beach(i'm at my mothers).I called
patrick and he talked to me while i was down there.He had
to go though cause it was his dinner time so i got to
think and what not.Man....it was so pretty there.I really
think the only time i like the beach is at night.I got my
feels together..and i'm finally mellow again.Not sad..not
happy.And that thought brought a smile to my face.I really
am going to try and get my act together..yeah..
i mean....i felt at peace....which i'm sure will go away
haha cause it always does..but its weird.When i'm living
out here i feel like i am in a different country or
something..i mean....its like i left all my problems
somewhere else..i actually got to sit there and not have
thousands of thoughts harrasse me and shit.i dunno..i did
get bothered by a group of annoying males _ i talked
with them then said i had to go cause they wanted me to go
party and i wasn't all about that.so i walked back home
and have been hanging out since.Everyone here is doing
their own thing.I think tony and i might play chess or
something later.Drinking and movie watching is def. on the
list of things to do.
Hm....turns out sam still likes me a lot....and wants to
try working things out with me again....i don't see that
happening.I mean i like sam and all and he means a lot to
me and yada yada....but i don't want to be in a
relationship with him again.he wasn't a bad boyfriend!!
but eh....not what i'm looking for.ah....i know when we go
on our little date thing..he'll be expecting something you
know..cause i mean..we have history and yada yada....and
yeah....every now and then when we see each other we kiss
but i always thought it was just a friendship peck kinda
thing!! ok i fucked up..damn it..i'm good at that _
dates freak me out..i don't wanna go now....
I started biting my nails agian.I hate that..why am i
doing it!! and i can't get myself to fucking stop!!i guess
they needed to be shorter anyways....makes it better to
play bass..which i need to play more..
I've been listening to Green day A LOT.Theres this one
song...."Waiting" that reminds me of chris everytime i
hear it cause he sang it on a tape with david and that was
the first time i heard that song so now when i hear it i
think of him.
AHH!! i love this band!! they always put me in a great
mood!!!! well i'm going to go
Patrick good luck tonight dude




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