Thoughts of His girl
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2004-02-21 22:11:59 (UTC)

Just Another Manic Saturday (LAUGHS)

I have missed you so very much the past few days.(sighs) I
know your r/l is hectic right now and I am actually the
last person to cross your mind. I dont fault you for that.
I feels so empty when your gone and when I thought I had
upset you the other day. (sighs)You are more than my
Master I hope you know that.

Michael and I got into another fight today. Well today was
actually mellow. He just told me I am dead to him bc I
have choosen to move on with my life and not wait forever
for a man who sent me away because he couldnt handle my 6
year old son. How does a man claim to Master me when he
cant even Master my 6 year old son , autistic or not.

Last night I missed you so much . Michael and I went at it
pretty bad. I blocked this new name he IMed me under too
and he tried to involve a mutual friend of ours. He told
me I was nothing but a naive little girl who needed to go
back to the sand box.

I was so upset yesterday a good friend , Chris I pushed
away hard. Part of me was expecting him to turn his back
on me. But He didnt. Im suprised, pleasantly but still
suprised.He is coming to visit in 2 wks I am scared and
excited. My roommate introduced us, Chris is her best
friend. Him and I are ver close now. Sometimes I think
gina hates that , but she is so strange altely anyways.

Then me and roommate kind of got into it. I spend 100- 200
wk on grocerys and house stuff. Depending on if i get all
my childsupport. Well last week I had to pay the wter bill
too because she didnt and we got a notice. Then I had to
pay the internet because her check bounced. Then I
discovered that she is 2 mths behind on the phone bill and
owes the current pg&e plus last mths. (sighs) I told her I
would pay half of every thing but that meant that she was
paying for someof the grocerys as well . Im quickly
growing tired of this arrangement. She is a slob and I am
left with her daughter all the time. I dont mind Torie (
shes 9) but damn it. I feel totally taken advantage of.
Its starting to irritate the fuck out of me.

I spent 110 on gorcerys today for the 5 of for the week .
(sighs) I am so tired of this but spending every thing I
get here makes it so hard to save up for a place of my
own. I am thinking about moving with my income tax return.
Uncle Sam took all of my OT and I should be getting it all
back .(laughs)

God, I am cramping so bad. I only have myperiod for 48
hours but god those 48 hours hurt so bad and I turn into a
total BITCH.(laughs)Pauline and I are going to be cleaning
house today. My roommate and her daughter are gone for the
day.(yippy) That must sound horrible. Today I told her
that tmorrow night iI need her to watch Pualine so I could
go to Merced and me Aaron would spend the night at my
parents house, Aaron has a 9 am doctors apt. She looks at
me and is all well I had plans tomorrow. ( sighs ) I watch
her daughter all the time ( shakes my head ), some people
never think of anyone but themselves I guess. Beat me to a
blood pulp if I ever get like this please.(LMFAO)

Okay I am off to start cleaning.

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