2004-02-21 17:42:14 (UTC)

catch up

ok i know its been awhile since i wrote guys... and i am
extremely sry... ive been up and down multiple
rollercoasters and plus some of the stuff i dont want to
ewnter in here because then i just incriminate myself and
get in more trouble with certain people if u know what i
mean.... but i have figured something out.... yes the
single life is great but it makes u a slut! i mean i think
i am defitently one of those girls that needs to be in a
relationship and i know ur probably thinking that after
that last one i shouldnt be but ive been thinking about my
past relationship with ryan and i really miss him... i mean
i love the kid and i mean i find myself looking at pictures
of me and him quite often and i miss him... like a lot and
im trying not to call him back and be like ryan i miss u i
love u i want u back because i just dont think it would be
the he has begun drinking a lot more i guess
and im sure hes picked up the smoking more now to and i
just dont like that stuff... but least being single ive
done more school work.... but anyways its so hard being
single specially when u have guys that think ur dedicated
to them and ur not but its just so hard and i dont think
ill be single much longer... but thats just to calm my
sexual life down a notch or 2 because its on like
overblasted right now... its horrible but its good lol
well anyways minus the love/sex life of mine a fellow
student at husson killed himself on tuesday and its been
hard on a lot of my friends... i cant say i wasnt effected
because i knew him and we talked on and off and he was a
really nice guy but i mean we were more or less aquaintices
but it was sad when i finally realized i wouldnt be seeing
him in the halls anymore or sitting with him on the couch
in the campus center talking about absoultey nothing....
but i miss him i guess just thinking about that but i
really cant say i new him well enough to be greatly
affected but my friends did and im here for them and i have
been for the last couple days.. stay strong guys i know u
can! well on top of that my favortie patient died as
well... that was really hard on me because i loved her
almost like my own grammy who is dead... she reminded me so
much of her and its just sad... oh i also spent time with
my coz dawn on tuesday that was pretty cool... she is
actually a lot like me which is surprising... but im out i
have to go take a shower and shit... sry guys for not
writing and entertaining u for a bit lol ill catch ya all
on the flip side
u never realize that love is so strong and so much a part
of ur life until u dont have it anymore and u become a
weaker person

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