malenky devotchka

Bella Morte
2004-02-21 00:11:27 (UTC)

whitewash

i've had a terrible couple of days. yup, i've screwed things
up royally this time. i suppose its my fault, it always is,
isn't it? i mean, no one else is ever to blame. all week i
felt something building, something i couldn't explain. not a
tenseness, but i should have been more careful than i was. i
didn't watch out for IT. the defitition of IT? well, IT is
the really bad thing that sneeks up when no one's watching.
when a slew of good things happen, people forget about the
IT, and before you know it, IT is everywhere making life
complete dis-boss. IT leaves one with that deep, empty
feeling of self disgust sinking in the pit of their stomach.
i scold myself for not being more wary.
in this wicked spree of crap days, i had one good night.
i went and saw knights (2) of the absurd. i must say the
actors pulled it off beautifully. other than that, i have
been waiting for IT to leave. IT always leaves, and usually
sooner than later. IT can only stand people so much, and
once the initial shock wears off and cleaning things up
begins, IT takes off to haunt someone else's steps. i refuse
to hope, i mean, doing so has never really got me anywhere,
so i am trying to distract myself, and silently willing IT
to leave.

until then,

-ophelia




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