Lil' Butterfly

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2004-02-18 21:45:24 (UTC)

Poems by My sis!

As I lay here and think,
what have I done?
The thought of you,
I just want to run.
Run away and hide,
invisable to everyone but you,
only you can see the real me,
then I hide from you too.
I'm so scared to be me,
the me deep inside,
you only see half of me,
because the other half has died.
When you left me all alone,
you tore my heart in half,
never to be mended,
never again to laugh.
My heart is forever broken,
shattered amoung the floor,
a million pieces everywhere,
as I finally walk out the door

The pain I feel,
will never end.
The heart you broke,
will never mend.
The love I lost,
I'll never find.
The love we shared,
will never unwind.
The love I feel,
will never be lost.
The pain I suffer,
is the cost.
The cost of love,
is eternal pain.
It leaves you there,
nothing to gain.

What are you feeling,
cuz I can't tell.
You hide your feelings,
to the point I could yell.
Why won't you tell me,
what's on your mind.
Your driving me crazy,
and I'm not too kind.
I tell you how I feel,
you just throw it away.
You won't give me a chance,
or time of day.
I'll never understand why,
but maybe it's better that way.
But it hurts me so much,
and one day, you'll pay.

I'm all confused,
don't know what to do.
I love him so much,
but I know I'll loose.
My heart has been broken,
torn in half.
I hurt others,
while I try to laugh.
I want him so much,
but that can't come true,
thinking about,
I don't know what to do.
Tell me you lvoe me,
and I'll be fine.
Maybe my pain,
is all just a sign.
A sign of confusion,
a sign of guilt,
a sign of a relationship,
that shouldn't be built.
So tell me you love me,
and look into my eyes,
believe in us,
and tell me no lies.

I love him
I hate him,
can't I make up my mind?
I want him,
I need him,
we're two of a kind.
I care too much,
he doesn't care enough,
We've been through hell,
when is this enough?
He's so ful of hate,
me, so full of life,
too much has happened,
can't we turn back time?
If we had never met,
I wouldn't feel this way,
I wouldn't be in pain,
about to go insane.
After everything we've been through,
I've proven I am strong,
give him another chance I say,
Or maybe I am wrong!!!

Life is a rollercoaster,
it goes by so fast.
Just don't close your eyes,
or it'll be part of your past.
life in the fast lane,
or maybe in the slow,
either way, look around,
before you give it a go.
There are turns and curves,
that you can't take too fast,
if you do not slow down,
it'll end up you'll last.
Life is a rollercoaster,
enjoy it and chill,
Don't take things too seriously,
and enjoy the hills.

As I lay in my bed,
stil from all the pain.
With my waterstained eyes,
with nothing else to gain.
I cry and I cry,
like I'm never gonna stop.
It just hurts so bad,
like my heart will just pop.
You are both right there,
right in front of my face,
I had to choose one,
one to take "his" place.
The one that I loved,
the one that I lost,
the pain I had suffered,
the heart break it cost.
But now that you're here,
please say that you'll stay,
don't leave me alone,
during the night or day.
If you leave me alone,
I think I might cry,
curl into a ball,
and lay there to die.

I sit here and wonder,
am I on your mind?
The vision of you,
I just can not find.
All the pain is in the past,
the heart break far behind,
the moments that didn't last,
flash through my mind.
Were you worth all the trouble?
Were you worth all the pain?
Were you worth all the heart break,
with nothing else to gain?
I sit here and I wonder,
am I on your mind?
Or are you just scared,
of what you might find?

Your kisses are deadly,
just like your gentle touch.
When you smile,
I melt so much.
When you touch me,
I grow weak.
To the point,
I can't even speak.
The way you look,
and the way you talk,
makes me so weak,
I can't even walk.
The way that you hold me,
when I am scared,
all of that shows me,
that you care.
I will never forget,
this feeling of love,
it will always rise,
far and above.

What do you do,
when the one you love,
doesn't love you back,
but loves someone else?
What do you do,
when you have what you think,
are your three best friends,
but one one actually cares?
What do you do,
when the one man,
who you thought as a father,
betrays your mother?
Do you forget everything,
and try to be happy?
Do you keep it all inside,
until you finally kill yourself?
So, my question to you is,
what do you do,
when your life is all wrong,
and you just wish you could die?

I'm still in love,
but it hurts so much,
and how I melt,
with one little touch.
I'm still in love,
but you are not,
I've cared so long,
and cared a lot.
I'm still in love,
with each passing day,
but sooner or later,
my heart will pay.
Each song I hear,
reminds me of you,
and you would think,
I'd finally get a clue.
I'm still in love,
and I'm sure you know,
I never thought,
you could be this low.
I'm still in love,
good luck I send,
but I guess this,
is the end.

You say you care,
but it was a lie.
You always know,
how to make me cry.
You're no better than him,
always on the go.
But you always find time,
to hurt me so.
I thought you were different,
but I guess I thought wrong.
But how can that be,
when I thought it for so long?
You're just a lie,
that I got caught up in.
The thought of you,
makes my head spin.
And what really sucks,
is that you'll never know.
Excatly how much,
you hurt me so.

*Dedicated to Evan*

Life is a dream,
you may never wake up.
It's like reality,
without all the bumps.
You maybe happy,
you maybe sad,
but in the end,
it's not too bad.
Life is a dream,
you may never wake up,
but whenever you do,
just don't give up.

I hate how you,
can look at me,
and all my pain,
you can see.
My frustration,
at my wits end,
lots of hurt,
I wish I'd send.
But for you,
I send no hate,
but this time,
you are too late.
I can forgive,
but I'll never forget,
you may gain my trust back,
bit by bit.
You will never comnpletly,
gain my trust back,
me forgetting,
is something I lack.
And how you hurt me,
you will never know,
but I never thought,
you could be this low.

So tired of this feeling,
wish it'd go away,
it never wanting to leave,
it always to stay.
They tell you it's good,
to feel this way,
and I guess that's enough,
to get through your day.
It really doesn't matter,
what anybody said,
all that matters,
is you wish you were dead!
I wish this feeling would leave,
leave me alone,
and all of my courage,
I have shown.
No longer caring,
what happens to me,
whatever happens,
is just meant to be.

How I feel,
deep down inside,
I turn away,
and try to hide.
But from you,
I will not run,
But from you,
I will hide none.
None of my feelings,
none of my guilt,
none of the pain,
that you have built.
I love you,
and you know this,
but you know what,
you can kiss.
No more you,
no longer to care,
no more of your lies,
will I bare!!

My heart has been mended,
then broken in two,
and all of this,
was done by you.
Just to look at you,
puts a hole in my heart,
you put it back together,
just to rip it apart.
The thought of you,
I want to cry.
The sight of you,
I want to die.

As I slowly make my way,
towards my home, that I long for,
I thinkn about my day,
how I can't take anymore.
One more day, of all this pain,
I'm going to go insane.
As I reach my house,
so lonely and empty,
I think how many lives,
would be better off without me.
Things would be so simple,
no one would even care,
I don't think anyone will notice,
that I'm not even there.
Oour of all the people God could send me,
why did it have to be you?
It just makes what I have to do,
harder than it already is.
I know what I have to do,
that from the day I was born,
that this was meant to happen.
I slowly walk through my house,
knowing it will be my last.
I look into the eyes, of my niece,
I'll never see again, that I'll never watch grow up.
I'll never get to tell my mom,
how much I love her and how
great she has been.
These are my final moments,
and everything comes flooding through my mind.
But I know what I must do,
and it must be done soon.
Fro my pain is getting worse,
and I feel like I'm already dead.
I walk towards the kitchen,
to get my took of death,
I walk slowly cut my wrist,
a sudden rush comes over me,
and it comes from deep within.
I lay back on my bed,
thinking as I die,
"this is is and how I will die".
I lay here and wait,
for my wounds to bleed all out,
as I lay there and suffer,
all my pain is released out.
All I can think,
is thta I am free.
No more pain, suffering, lies.
No more worrying, hatred, lonelyneed.
Only me,
in my sweet comfortable bliss.

I know how I feel,
but maybe I'm scared,
I hate this feeling,
I have always cared.
Never to forget you,
I'll always be here,
I'll never leave,
always hold you dear.
You tell me you love me,
and I too, love you,
but how do I know,
what you say is true?
We have both been hurt,
many many times,
let's just hope,
we haven't been blind

How I feel,
deep down inside,
I'd say it out loud,
but I think I might cry.
I think and think,
about you all day,
I sit down and cry,
scared to feel this way.
When I'm alone,
and have nothing to say,
I call you on the phone,
and we talk all day.
I don't understand,
how I feel this way,
it has only been,
a couple of days.
I already know,
that I love you so,
but I want you to know,
I'm never letting go.

So tired of this feeling,
wish it'd go away,
it never wanting to leave,
it always to stay.
They tell you its good,
to feel this way,
and I guess that's enough,
to get through your day.
It really doesn't matter,
what any body said,
all that really matters,
is you wish you were dead!
I wish this feeling would leave,
leave me alone,
and all of my courage,
I have shown.
No longer caring,
what happens to me,
whatever happens,
is just meant to be.

Hatred, love, lust
I'm going to bust.
Happiness, depression,
total obcession.
Feelings deep inside,
so far down, you can't see,
With me always pretending,
what I think I should be.
Pretending I am,
something I am not,
I guess I should be careful,
cause I might get caught.
They might see the real me,
then run and hide,
I should run away,
for you I confind.

I'm always alone,
all by myself,
got no one to love me,
you're too into yourself.
You do care,
I see it in your eyes,
when you look at me,
I hide and I cry.
I keep my feelings inside,
to not open up,
you'll see all my hurt,
like the eyes of a little pup.
I try to hide my pain,
but you see right through,
with a look in my eyes,
you always get the clue.
I'll never understand,
how you read me so well,
with just a glance,
you know my whole tale.

You were there,
right infront of my face,
this whole time,
in the same place.
How did I not know,
that I felt this way,
but after you left,
I knew that day.
I know you're coming back,
but things will be the same,
we'll always be just friends,
it feels just like a game.
A game I'll never win,
a game I'll always loose,
so many to pick from,
its just so hard for you to choose.
Out of the many you can have,
the few that you want,
I will never be,
one of those lucky ones.

I thought I was over you,
but I guess I thought wrong.
The day I saw you cry,
was the day that I died.
I know I stand no chance,
but I can always dream.
I sit and dream,
about you holding me tight,
never letting go,
never leaving my sight.
You tell me you love me,
while looking in my eyes,
I hurry to turn around,
scared I might cry.

Are you too blind to see,
what you had, but now you've lost?
Are you too blind to see,
that he's not the same as before?
Are you too blind to see,
that it all started with him?
Are you too blind to see,
or do you only see,
what you think you want to see?

When I am bored,
what do I do?
I put together,
a poem or two.
I think and think,
when nothing comes to mind,
I get angry and scream,
and I am not too kind.
My poems always help,
to get things off my chest,
I write down how I feel,
and then hope for the best!

You look down,
only to see yourself,
laying in your coffin.
Only one person,
came to say goodbye.
One out of so many.
Your best friend,
sitting in front of you,
crying her eyes out.
You try to hold her,
to tell her you're right there,
but you pass right through her.
She's the only person who cares,
the only one that ever did.
You realize that you're alone,
as you've always been!!