Denika's CraZY Life
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2004-02-18 14:28:24 (UTC)

Sexual Healing!

...Or not.

Valentines day. It started out really nice, I went out
with Tanay and Norm. (we met TaNAY at reflections the day
before) We went out and had a great time at KFC, hung
around and talked and junk. Tanay is awsome. I was sad
beacasue all of Valentines day I did not have a boy to
kiss, to have, to hold... *sigh* it was a pitiful night..

Then I went online. I wanted to see if Dave, the guy from
downstaris would be my valentine. He didnt get back form
work in time to make the offical Valentines day decision.
But he said yes non the less.. We talked on the internet
for over two hours. Then I invitied him up.

It was 3 am. I was tired, the place was a mess, but
scrabbled to get it all clean, put something nice on,
freshened up.

Knock knock knock. It was him at the door. I inhaled
deeply... walked toward the door.. opened... glorious. He
was smiling. SMILING. I have this thing with people who
smile. It makes me so happy. No one smiles anymore... I
think that was all it took. He was as stunningly beautiful
as I had remembered. He walked in.

It seemed as if he loomed over than me, although he is
only a few inches taller. He had this magnificent aura.
Oerpowering really. I gave him a huge hug.. an awkward
moment... then I kissed him. It was so tender.

This was the beginning of a wonderful post-valentines
day. We walked in, making small talk. Entering our rec
room, I had the music playing, the lights were soft. He was

We talked for a bit, our eyes never leaving eachothers
face. He tald me how beautiful I was, how amazing he
thought I was coutless times. I feel my heart turning,
falling into place. If you ever heard of Josh Groban, look
up the song "My confession" its on his "Closer" album. This
is how I felt... I don't know how to explain it. He had thi
Raw power over me.

The way his mouth moved. how his eyes would watch my lips
as I spoke. It was really quite something. Every word that
he said. So sweet, so soft..

We spoke longer.. I couldnt contain myself. I leaned in..
kissed him. A long sweet kiss. His hand came up, touched my
face, drawing me in. His skin, so smooth against mine. He
was so warm. He tald me that I wa extreamly "hugable, and

I couldnt belive it. He was so sincere. He tald me about
how many times he looked at me when we walke by eachother..
how "hot" he thought I was.. I was lost in everything. I
could tell that he was unique and special. I took
everything in. We kissed for a little longer, talked.. and
thats how the night went on.

I felt myself falling for him. A guy that I just
litterally met. I told him that I had a confession to
make. "I really like you a lot." His response, "Thats good,
because I like you a lot too."

We smiled together, laughed at a few things, and I then
realised that this guy is what my heart needs, something
fresh, something exuberant, something tender and caring.

He told me of the reason he calls himself Astro,
*cute*what he does,... I was listening, but it was like I
was listening to a song rather than a boy that was sitting
on my couch speaking to me.

I felt these extream crazy feelings. I was fallllllling
for him... hard..

The night krept by, unaware of my thoughts.. I told him
that I thought he was the kind of person that I could fall
easily in love with... I think by that time I waS already
half way there.. He astounded me. Touched me in this crazy
profound way. So incredibly inspiring... WOW.

I stood up to get a glass of water.. He stands up too. He
reaches out, takes my hand.. "I don't usually do this
often, but I'm not going to let you get away from me,...
will you go out with me."

I was mistified. It seemed I stood there for so long, but
it happened so quick.. I looked in his eyes for ages... I
felt like I could cry.

My heart was in my throat. I finally choked out a
squeakly little "Yes." He leaned in and kissed me. ... It
blew my mind. He said "This is our Valentines day"

The rest of the night was amazing. I loved just sitting
with him. When he left, I couldn't believe what happened..
It was.. crazy. But a good crazy.


The next day. The 16th.

The dreaded e-mail... He wants to be friends first. I
respect that, I reallllly do. I wasn't terribly upset, but
it WAS sad. He says that he still wants to see me, and
that he realllly likes me a lot.. he just doesnt want to
screw things up. I understand. But only time will tell
right? If he really likes me.. if I wasn't just a waste of
time.. bleh..

I hope things go right. I hope that my feelings on him
aren't in vain. He is so nice, sweet.. and inspirational..

Thats enough for now. I just wanted to share...

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