Darkshine Raven

Just A Life
2004-02-18 09:29:10 (UTC)

My Rampid Thoughts (part 2)

Now it's early in the morning and I'm the one picking away
at the computer keyboard. The irony tastes salty on my
smirking lips but I figure I'm excused because my late
night hypocrisy is warrented. I'm communicating with
someone in the real world, planning for something that
will happen in real time. No imagined characters and no
contrived storyline (don't you love that stereotype I am
implying here). Somehow I've managed to retrive the
screename of a young man that dipped my mind into the cool
spring of awe. I have long since surfaced but my heart
remembers what it felt like to taste the water on my lips.
As always I'm eager to dive back in.

I scoff at myself while these thoughts run through my head
like the pleasentries Adam and I exchange. Simple and
selfish ways to feel comfortable. I always seem to jump to
conclusions in the world of men and it's done me no good.
I assume their minds and hearts smile upon me like I'm the
golden child when they are only addressing a dear friend.
Or even someone they don't know well but want to get to
know for the benefit of friendship. I shake my head and
remind myself when he leaves briefly that I need to keep
in mind that he is a friend. My adolesent mind is scolding
itself in hopes that the punishment will change the
temperment but I find that's an unrealistic goal. The
second his instant message window pops back up and we're
talking again I feel my heart skip a few beats. I shuffle
along the lines of reason trying to tell myself that this
isn't forsaking any goal of friendship I have. A little
crush is harmless, right?




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