waseca

chronicallytrapt
2004-02-17 17:18:43 (UTC)

inner battles

i'm forced to remind myself
how i need to forget
the face of the one
who protected me

the feeligns i've overcome
the hurt, the anger, the pain
i learned to ignore it
existing in my shell

my fortified walls
i erected against the world
the flaw in my plan
was only apparent to his eyes

now the memories rush back
emotions over take
my breath is gone
there is only blackness

and now when i am falling
i find myself reaching
for him again
expecting him to be there

i expect the words i need
but am afraid to hear
their meaning could destroy me
or become my salvation

fear makes me remember
what my memories
taught me to forget
and a war wages in me

i sit here thinking
trying, coping, enduring
i sit here
and the war wages in me




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