Dark Angel

Eternal Damnation: My Bleeding Soul
2004-02-16 22:00:20 (UTC)

The saddness begins to take over...

I am feeling more and more depressed lately. My friends, or
rather my so-called friends, are still the same stupid
assholes they've been. I mean, how many times can you hurt
one person before it gets old? Some people just need to
fucking grow up and quit messing with other peoples lives.
Valentines day sucked. Next year, I am boycotting because
it's a stupid holiday in which you exchange gifts with
people and eat chocolate which only makes you fat and then
the next day, it's like it never even happened. So what's
the point? I talked to mike the other day. I was in grill
and it was kind of like it used to be between us. It was
indeed a little awkward but that is to be expected. I miss
him. The way i feel about mike is like I am drowning in an
endless sea of despair and i am reaching out for his hand
but he's always a few inches away and so i die a little
each time i see him or rather when i don't. I don't know
how to not love him. I wish i did because then I could just
turn off my feelings and be cruel and hurtful. I was like
that once and no one fucked with me, but i've turned soft
and I care about people now. I would give up everything for
just one moment with him. I also wish that i could tell him
this stuff but that is completely impossible. How do you
explain to someone that you love them and would give up
your life just to see them happy? I guess for now I'll just
have do it in secret because i feel like i am giving up my
life to see him happy cuz being with her makes him happy,
or at least that's how it seems. I feel like crawling into
a dark corner of the earth and crying myself to death. What
a beautiful way to die... and it's not as if anyone would
miss me, certainly not mike nor anyone else. I have nothing
to offer the world. I am just one person without love,
friendship, family, and happiness. **** The sun sets in the
distance... it's beauty fades into darkness... and so i go
into the night never to see your face again...




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