Crazy What You Could've Had
Berlin Day Three (Part Six)
That relief was to change rapidly to...well, curiosity. I
turned to MTS and mentioned "There's a distinctly male
clientele here", and he replied with a similarly
tactful "I was thinking that. The hot bodies that were
promised are not what I was expecting". TN, however, was
not born into this world like that, and he just boomed
out "THIS IS A GAY BAR".
It was. MTS had taken us 3 hours across Berlin, it was
midnight, and the place we were aiming for all along was a
gay bar. TN and myself were EVEN LESS AMUSED. That's not
entirely true. Human nature says in those situations you
can either laugh or cry, and we did the former until the
latter whilst outside.
Next door to Hafen was Tom's Bar...a bar that was
mentioned on MTS's guide as being the city's best gay bar.
Across the way was another gay bar. We decided that we
hadn't just stumbled, by bad luck, onto a gay bar, but had
in fact plummeted straight into the gay area of Berlin
without noticing. There would be no hot Aussie girls that
By this time, and with that outcome, we DID decide to cut
our losses and head back to the hostel, hoping to get back
before the bar there closed at 2am. We stopped off for a
pizza, in a gay pizzaria (It was all quite novel for us,
to be honest - none of us being gay, we'd not been into
such an area before...I hadn't realised that things like
pizzaria's would be pronouncedly gay...I suppose in
retrospect it makes sense), where a gay version of The
Edge out of U2 made a show of his chillies and then we
started going home.
Unfortunately, the trains were grinding to halt after
midnight, and we made it only about 2/3s of the way before
we had to go to a taxi. MTS paid, of course.
As a post-script to the night, we lied about where we'd
been and vowed to not tell anyone in the hostel. Also, it
turned out - as you may have guessed - MTS's list of bars
could have been prefixed with "Gay".
Now remember the Italian restaurant owner, telling us we
could go either way? Its etched into my mind.