OneStr8BlueJoker

Shit In My Head Let Out..
2004-02-12 17:29:46 (UTC)

shitty day before noon

ok i woke up at like 8:33am thinking i was gonna have a
normal slow boring day.. me and my dad hadn't had a fight
in a while and wasn't thinking about what was to come...
after alittle while of my computer being a shit, i found
out the files i were trying to back up on to his computer
failed. when i called my dad at work to ask for his
computer password we start to raise our voices so i hang
up the phone. when he calls back we start talking. then he
asked if i knew why the phone disconnected, and i told him
that i hung up the phone cuz i didn't want to yell at him.
then he hung up the phone. at that time i was standing in
the upstairs hallway, and i was pissed to almost the max.
then i punched the wall. when i did this, i ended up
breaking the bone between the pinky and ring finger. when
i told my mom what was going on. she flipped out saying
that "your father is not gonna be in a good mood" and i
was like i don't give a fuck.

but to fill you in on what's happend. i lost a close
friend of mine awhile back, and i stopped listening to
Insane Clown Posse, for the most part. then my cousin
heard about a group of juggalo's and juggalette's (fans)
that hang out. she wrote them a letter from them to email
me.. i talked to the guy, and went to a gathering for a
juggalo's b-day. when i got home i started to remember
Ricky, my friend who had died. and i talked to Christina,
my cousin, and she said that it might help me move on, and
accept the fact Ricky isn't here anymore, since i've been
in denial of his death since Oct. 8th, 2000, then last
night i started to date a juggalo, just as Ricky was
before he died. then he said that i would only get in the
way. and he didn't need the drama. then i started to
think. "why did ricky have to leave me" after that i
called Jadyn, and talked to him about what was going on.
it didn't really help much, but about an hour after i hung
up i fell asleep and was dreaming about when Ricky was
still alive......




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