lifethrumyeyes
The End of Life As It Was
Aug 2003 thru Jan 2003
Hi my Name is Cindy, (not my real name). When you read my
entries you will understand why I chose to not disclose my
name.
My life was good and I single handly destroy it in 3
mths. I was married for lets say more than 15 years and
now I am not. I had all I could want a good family,
friends, and someone to take care of me and who loved me.
I did as I please most of the time. I went to dinner out
with friends and was just pampered
like a queen. Then I got an infatuation with a guy
younger than me by a decade, who cant take care of me in
any shape or form. I left my life as I knew it for a
life of struggle (go figure how twisted the mind is). Now
I cant even afford a nice place to live, or go out
anywhere, cause i always worried about the basic
necessities of life. My husband and I started from the
bottom up. In just 6 months we had lots of plans to travel
and take a nice long vacation toghether. Now its
impossible to go back to that. The bad part is I have
lost my will to continue on cause I have no one to blame
but myself. I have asked him on numerous occassions to
take me back, that I realize it was a huge mistake but his
indirect answer is no its over for good. Life has become
so difficult for me that its almost unbearable so here I
am writing these entries. (I know he has all the right to
say no, i deserve all this fully)
So here I am created this Diary so I can write down online
the mess I have gotten myself into. I am in a State where
I have no friends and no family. Guess I have put myself
in my own hell on earth. I write in this Diary knowing my
life is not going to ever get any better it can only get
worse from here on. I wake up every morning wishes it was
over and my pain would end, but guess not that would make
it too easy.
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