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2004-02-12 10:31:35 (UTC)


I just got back from Darren's tonight and feel so much
better about life in general. Halifax has reminded me of
Misty so much I didn't want to move back, and now Breezy
is living there too - but I just had a nice awakening over
some talk about writing, about music, about band and
promotion ideas, about living conditions and our real
generalized function in life - a great jam with me and
Darren, Chris, Nick and Archie - and some job leads...

things are finally starting to gel together a bit.

How many times have I learned someone so well that I fell
in love with them and did everything I could to bend
myself in ways that anticipated and better suited what I
knew of their likes and needs? About 80% of the
relationships I've been in fit this.

When is the last time someone ever took that kind of
effort for me? Once, in 1995.

I don't care if I am single for three years - I've got to
rebuild and surpass where I was before the last major back-
bending relationship. This kind of attitude from me has
proven itself to go completely unappreciated and set me
back in financial respects a lot - a lot. No more of that
horse shit, lesson learned.

things are finally starting to gel together a bit.

although I do get suspicious as to why Ceolia suddenly
hasn't called in about 2 weeks. I heard a lawyer say a
b/f of a previously single mom has the best of both
worlds - they see as much as they want and can walk away -
he had a twisted idea of best. I wish I had visitation
rights or something, anything... but in that area of my
life I have nothing but a hole forgotten by the designer
of that hole. best of both worlds my ass.

everything else is peachy

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