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2004-02-09 03:47:20 (UTC)


Well... Stupid Earth stuff, I suppose I should start there,
beings my life seems to revolve around this damn game
Last night.... we *declared war* on this much more powerful
clan... VERY stupid move...LOL We're getting our butts
kicked, HARD.... And it's pretty sad, but I can't help but
think it's funny as hell at the same time.. We killed about
7 of their countries so far, they've killed about 10 of
ours, mine included... I was all paranoid last night about
going to bed and waking up this morning to my lil country
being dead... It wasn't... Sat here for a few hours, tired
as all getout cuz I'd only slept MAYBE 4 hrs, had a
*friend* who is in charge of all these lil warchat thingies
we do yell and scream at me over something totally stupid..
SO, I decide screw it, who cares, etc etc... Laid down for
about 45 min or so, got back up and lo n behold, my country
is DEAD... Funny thing is, by then, I didn't even care....
I lost ALL this sleep last night worrying about it, and
when it happened, I was already so ticked off, I just
didn't care.. Still don't, for that matter.... Kinda
thinking them killing me may be the excuse I need to quit
this damn game...
Back on the LOF front, I got a pm yesterday morning from
the person I asked to remove my access, saying he was
giving me an extension because he didn't think I should
leave... There are lots of posts telling me I should stay,
etc etc.. But.. I dunno, something else started over there
on the original thread that made me decide to quit, that
has me pretty sure I should probably cut my losses and move
on... See, the LOF members that left, went to a different
clan, as I think I've said before.. I get ICQ'd yesterday
from a *friend* over there, asking me why they left... So,
I answered... I don't think I said anything REAL bad,
considering the hell I've put myself through this past week
over these *friends* that left... I mean, I said at least a
couple times that I loved em to death an it had hurt me
when they left... But, you're not allowed to say things
because of being hurt, dontcha know? Cuz now I find out
over on the LOF boards that this *friend* who ICQ'd me,
pasted everything I said to one that left... DAMN I do a
good job of picking *friends*, I swear... People wonder why
I always automatically assume EVERYONE is out to get me,
and, hmmmms well, I WONDER FUCKING WHY!!!!
I started this thing, in all honesty, thinking I would have
someone point the people in LOF that left M4C here, so they
would see MY side of how I felt, etc., but I don't even
know that I want that now, at all... Sure, I'm bitter, who
wouldn't be? Well, ok, not a fair question, beings I know
for a fact I'm not *normal*, so how the hell do I know how
NORMAL people feel?! I just know that I'd started to feel
like I should stay in LOF, and buckle down and deal with
all the bullshit I was going to catch for my idle threats,
but.... Hell, now I kinda am back to where I was before...
I've gotten a few ICQ's from LOF'ers who were the LAST
people I expected to ever ask me to change my mind.... And,
I was almost ready to swallow my *pride*, suck it all up
and go "change my mind"... But... now, I don't see it
happening... Damn!