Fishnet Goddess

Rainbows, Ice-a-ma-cream, and Lemonade
2004-02-08 20:22:57 (UTC)

Um, Happy Valentine's Day?

Damn, I didn't realize how very long it's been since I've
written. But it's not like anything has changed. In fact,
the only thing worth mentioning is this guy at work, who
seems to be developing an infatuation with me. He's made
me mixed CD's, e-mails me constantly, and is always
inviting me places. I've only actually gone a couple of
places with him, AS FRIENDS, one was to a concert, and the
other was just last week- we spent an entire day museum
hopping and walking around San Diego. I can sense his
attraction to me- and it's pretty extreme. He's totally
aware that I'm happily married, and never does much more
than harmless flirting, but I almost feel bad, because I
know he wants me, and he's NOT going to get me. He says he
loves having me as a friend, so I'm not really going to
press the issue, and I'm just pretending that everything
is normal between us. But there's a sexual tension there
that's the thickest I've felt in quite a while. I'm hoping
my avoidance strategy (not avoiding him, but avoiding any
discussion or even acknowledgement of this tension) will
force things to be normal. Avoidance is a common strategy
of mine, and disassociation. I know it's not the
healthiest way to deal with things, but it's the easiest,
and I can't bring myself to "fix things" any other way. I
guess I'm emotionally weak.