My Excape Book
2004-02-08 05:34:43 (UTC)

Well. A little about me.

Dear Diary. Well if im not mistaken. My diary is open
to the public... which i think it is.Seeing as i think you
are reading this right now. So, maybe i should tell you a
little about me.

Im Sarah. Im 14 years old. Soon to be 15 in the summer. I
love to read. Even though my friends don't call it exactly
fun. I do. I mean c'mon! It's only when you read when you
get to become someone new, Or go to a hole different
world.Oh and also to let you know. I like to rant, and
tend to trail off alot. It's just something that i do
alot.Yeah... other things that I like to do are, Shop. of
course. what teenage girl doesn't?. I like to just hanging
out with my friends. If it wasn't for them I Don't know
what I would do. I like to listen to music. I listen to
about anything form Michelle Branch to Three Days Grace
and Blink 182. I don't exactly like school. But it's ok i
guess. My teachers for some reason have a problem with me
talking too much. haha, So i like to talk? what's it too
ya? I don't play any sports. Not because I don't like them
it's juts that i'm no good at them. I like art, And that
i'm proud to say, i'm good at. And i like misuc. I play
the Alto Saxaphone. And the Guitar.:) Just got a guitar
for x-mas!!:)

Some of My Life Up Till Now
Well. My family is,... well.... Different. I mean ME, I
personaly dont find it wierd.... but too other people it
most likely would be.So i guess i'll start form well, the

My mom (sheila) met my Dad (terry), And had me.:D And i
was lucky to be bord. My mom had me late in life. She was
actually told that she wouldnt have any children.But there
I was. In my mom's tummy.She was 36 years old,Almost 37,
and pregnent. She had me. I was premature. 2 weeks(or
something like that) early. I was 4lbs and 2 ounces.Yes i
was small, but i was healthy! From the hospital i was
taken home.Only my father wasn't there. He had become an
alcohalic and couldnt quit. He wasn't aloud to see me
unless he was sober. He then met my ex stepmom.Her name
was lynn. Also an alcohalic. She had already had two
children. Greg and Shean.They were both on riddaline(or
however you spell it). And where kind of.. for lac of a
better word, slow.After a while my dad and lynn had 2
little boys. My new brothers. Nick and Todd.Both normal
and healthy.So while all this happend. I grew up. In the
great hands of my mother. Leading a happy childhood.With
lots of friends.When i was 5, we moved out of my first
house. We then lived in a small, yet homie apartment.
Thats is where i met one of my best friends. Morgan. I
still to this day remember the exact words she said to me.
haha "Hi, im morgan. Would you like and ice cream." haha,
from that moment we were best friends.She lived in the
same building even! We would have sleep overs on school
nights, and everything. It was great. But then morgan had
to move out. :( She moved to and apartment just around the
corner. Just a bit bigger than the old one. It wasn't the
same. But we got used to it.My other childhood friends
were. Sarah Cowle. Sarah was nice. She was a great friend.
Just i grew up and she didn't. I moved on from playing
with stuffed anymals and dolls. but Sarah didn't. So, we
just drifted apart. Now, i would sit here and tell you all
about my friends but that would take for hours,And i juts
don't have that time seeing as it's already 11:32 p.m.
Now, im going to skip some years, to grade 8. Grade 8 was
the best yaer for me. I had my group of friends. I had
moved up in the world. I was put into the "grown up" table
on christmas dinner. I was aloud to speak and was actually
heard at my grandma VanDeWalkers house.(she didn't beleive
that children had an oppinion, or at least didn't think it
mattered)I was my own person. no longer seen as juts
another kid. I was liked by everyone at school. I had no
haters. But it also wasn't a good year. My grandma
VanDeWalker died.My Grandma GiGi died aswell.(Gigi wasnt
really my grandma but i called her that.) It was a sad
time, but it didn't really affect me. I dont know if it
just didn't click, or what.Also in grade 8 i met one of my
best friends. She is the best. She is Avala.She is a
minasters daughter,a dn her mother is a counsler for
pregnent teens,drug addicted people and alcohalics. I mean
i thought my mom was tuff. Avala couldn't pull a thing
over her parents heads. No trying anything new.Yeah....
all through these years i saw my father maybe three times
a yaer if lucky. Grade 8 was different however. I started
to baby sit for my dad. This was great at the time. I saw
my little brothers, got to see my dad. And i cleaned his
house! My dad's house was discusting. It wasn't fit for
people to live in it. One day I cleaned out my
brothers "Play Room". Only I couldn't see how they could
play because the floor wasn't even visable. However i got
it clean. I kept this up for about a month. I thought my
dad was doing great. No alcohal or anything. Or that is
what I thought. While at work, in GM, he was drinking. Not
alot, but he was. That was not a good sign.One day he came
home, payed me. Then passed out on the counch. It was
horrable. He was covered in tiny beads of sweat, and was
out cold. My two brothers jumping on him to wake him up,
and tell him what they had done that day. But he wouldn't
get up. My mom pulled up into the drive way. I heard the
honk of the horn calling me. Only i told her to come in.
She was discusted. She emediatly called the old baby
sitter. She was a older lady,just a little younger than my
mom. (my mom was 50 when i was in grade 8) She was going
to watch the kids while i was at home.That day i realized
who my father really was, and i did not like it one bit.
My brothers got taken away after my other step brother
(sean) desided to try and "play" with them. it was sick
and twisted. I couldnt beleive it. If I had grown up with
my father I would be soo much different today.My mother
kept me away from that world. I am sooo very happy she
did. We lived totaly sepperate lives then them. We live in
a nice quiet neighbourhood.In a nice homie house. (and it
was actually clean unlike my dad's) I went to a good
school. I was friends with the good croud. I didnt live
like my father did. & i hope i never will. Well that was
last year. This year changed even more. It got evem more
wierd. Summer was great. Other than the small fact that
one of my best friends, not to mention the guy i was head
over heals for and still am was going out with Avala.
Avala had known him longer, and had had him befor i even
met him. So i couldnt really do anything.Except not go to
the movies when i knew he would be there, or hang out with
her when i knew he was at her house. I couldnt see them
together. Anyways... School started. It was exciting. I
was in a hole new place... High School! It was great at
first. Problem was i was soo used to not doing much work,
and getting A's and B's. Not no more.You actaully have to
try.My marks werent the greatest but they were better than
they are right now.My mom was gettting to be a little
anoying. That was only because i wasn't hoem much
though.Oh how i wish i had stayed hiem more now! I was at
the church. It was the spagehti dinner. And it was over.
Just us kids now were upstairs playing twister. The
grownups had sent a little kid to say i had a phone call.
An emergancy phone call. I thought it was my mom
saying"Get home this instant! It's 11:00!" but it wasn't.
I would have ratherd it be that than the news i had
gotten. Avala's dad,Mr. moore gave me the news. My mom had
died.I remeber its soo well that night. And i still feel
sick as i write about it. I was sitting on the
ground. "No, no. This isn'y happening! It can't! Not to
me!" Then i started worrying about my moms will. For all i
knew was that she didn't have one. The little kids heard
me. Ther were in the other room. Mike(my friend kevin, the
one that im head over heals for, brother.) had thought my
dog had died at first. But then noticed what it realy was
about.He went upstairs and told all my friends. But they
didn't take him seriously. They just thought he was making
a really mean joke. They soon found out that what mike
said was true. Avala came running down the stairs balling.
Mr.Moore, adn Mrs.Moore took my to the hospital where my
mom was. Avala was with me too. I then met up with my aunt
and uncle. Uncle Bob, and aunt Croket(real name is lois.
but noone, and i mean noone calls her that).I was aloud to
go in and look at my mom. but i couldn't. Thats night i
stayed at my aunt and Uncle Bob's house. Few days later.
there was a visitation and a funeral after that. My mom
didn't look like herself in the casket. It wasn't her. I
hated it. My friends all came. There was over 10000 peopl
who signed my moms guess book! it was amazing. She knew
everyone.My one friend, Thomas, he gave me a rose. It was
so sweet.All that went down in November. My mom had passed
on Nov.8th.2003. We sooned found out that she had just
made the will in October. And had hidden it between her
matress and the boxspring.I was to live with my aunt and
Uncle Bob. No way was i living with my dad. oh wait, i
couldnt anyway. He had moved away without telling his own
daughter! I found out where he was. He was somewhere in
sudbury. And had known about the funeral, and
everything.Do you think he came? NOOOO! Why would he do
that! Many people loved my mom, like morgan. Morgan as we
got older lived at my house pretty much. My mom was her
second mom, because her mom was youg. She had morgan wen
she was only 20.So, Morgan dindt really take my moms death
that great.I haven't ether though. It still hasn't hit me
yet, and I don't know when it will. But it hasn't.Well x-
mas went by. I dinn't ask for anything because i fel bad
if i had of. But my moms b.f at the time (dennis, he as
really great to us and truly loved my mom)knew that i
wanted an electric guitar. and baught me one.Im happy i
have it. just i dont think he had to do it.So, now it's
Feb.the 7th. and tomrrow is my moms 3rd month gone. but
for some reason it feels like yesterday.......

Bye now.

Yours Truly Sarah